staying behind with you | bellarke

chapter 23

''I don't know man. I think I like her.''

''Then you should tell her.''

''I'm scared.''

''Just go for it. I have your back. Even if she rejects you,... I mean, at least you'll be able to move on properly.''

''But-''

''Murphy, for real. Look, I know you're scared because you think that Raven is still mad at you... but it was more than two years ago. She knows you didn't mean to hurt her, she knows you didn't do it on purpose. I've seen you interact for the past weeks, you've grown really close together and I think you should just go for it.''

''I just--'' Murphy sighs. ''I don't think I'm good enough for her. And she's friends with Emori, I just don't want-''

''Go tell Emori first, then. Tell her that you can't control this feeling and she will understand it. It's not your fault you're having a crush or something. You didn't break up with Emori because of Raven, you broke up with her because you didn't feel like you could love her like she deserved to be loved. It's been more than a year, anyways. She will find love again and you will find love again and that's just how the world works.''

''Okay,'' Murphy breathes in. ''You're right. I'm going to do it now, before I lose all my courage. See you later,''

___________

''So you're telling me that you and Bellamy never...''

''No.''

''But you were alone with him.. And now you have Madi, but still,...''

''I know Raven.'' Clarke says disappointed. ''I don't think he feels the same way.''

''How are you sure, though?'' Raven questions as if she was certain it wasn't true.

''He never said anything or did anything to make progress. A year ago I was having all these thoughts about him and I, together, but I was scared so I kind of just tried to shrug the feelings away but now... Well now I really want it. And it's even more clear that he doesn't care for me. He's always hanging with Emori now and when we talk, he just complains about Echo.''

''I'm sure he doesn't mean to. You know Bellamy, he always knows what to say when the situation's not with him. When he is involved, he also gets speechless and nervous and avoids having serious conversations.''

''That's true. You're right.'' Clarke seems thinkative. ''Oh, and I haven't even told you the juicy part.''

''Juicy part?'' Raven widens her eyes. ''What- Did you-''

''I have no idea,'' Clarke confesses. ''I just know that one day Madi prepared a meal for us and she left, so we stayed up late talking and the next thing I remember is to wake up half naked and cuddling him. He doesn't remember anything either so maybe we just drank a lot and forgot about it, but the weird thing about it, is that I don't remember drinking. It was water for sure. I mean, we don't even have strong drinks like they had in Polis.''

''Well, that's surely weird. Maybe... What about jobi nuts?''

''What? I don't think so. We told Madi to stay away from- Oh God. No wonder Madi tried to leave everytime we had dinner.'' Clarke sighs heavily and rests her head on her hands. ''I'm so dumb. I ruined everything.''

''Do you think Madi did it?''

''Raven, I am SURE Madi put jobi nuts there. And we didn't sleep together, maybe we just were delusional, which happens with these nuts and- I can't believe how stupid I've been. All this time... I have to fix this.''

''What do you mean, fix this?''

''I told Bellamy we shouldn't talk about it again. It was better if we backed off for a while, because if we really had sex it would've been awkward and we shouldn't ruin things. We have Madi, she's a child, and... I shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion so quickly.''

''Clarke...'' Raven also looks disappointed at her. ''Go, see if this can be saveable.'' She grabs Clarke's hand and drags her outside the room they were in.

''I'll tell you everything later!'' Clarke shouts before running to where Bellamy was currently. ''Oh, sorry Murphy, didn't see you there,'' She quickly apologizes as she bumps into him. Looks like he's going to talk with Raven.

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a little cliffhanger. let's see what happens between bellarke and murven :)