staying behind with you | bellarke

chapter 1

''Bellamy''

Nothing.

''Bellamy..''

Everything was destroyed. Becca's laboratory, as much as it was prepared for this type of unfortunate events, was equally destroyed. Some parts remained untouched, although others were highly affected.

Bellamy and Clarke were under a metal table. He had his protective arms around her but slowly passed out, due to the fume that was entering the building.

''Bellamy, please,..''

Clarke was trying to wake him up for a while. Her face was still swollen and with some radiation burns, although it didn't hurt as much as it was hurting in the beginning. Her eyes were watery, she couldn't believe Bellamy was stupid enough to stay with her, knowing that he probably wouldn't survive.

''Damn it Bellamy, you're not even a nightblood..''

She kept talking and talking, hoping he would wake up, while her head was pressed to his chest. She tried to hear his heartbeat, but nothing happened. She tried to be reasonable, she didn't want to believe he was really dead because of her, so she tried to believe that she couldn't hear it because of all the noise outside.

''Why would you do this? Why didn't go with them?''

Clarke was angry. She had this conversation with him before. She told him to stop listening to his heart no matter how much he wanted to. She told him to make rational decisions, for the sake of everyone.

''Why do you keep treating me as if I need to be protected? Here you are,''

She lets a weak laugh escape.

''Here you are, hugging me... like you could protect me from this.''

Clarke lifts her head up, looking at his face. He looked calm, like an angel. She tried to believe he was just sleeping, taking a nap, because it was such a tiring day. She didn't want to believe he was dead.

''Don't. Don't do this to me. You aren't selfish. You always do everything to protect everyone. So don't you dare-''

Tears start rolling down her face.

''Don't you dare leave me, Bellamy. I won't let you.''

With this being said, Clarke removes his strong hands from her body and even with injuries, she tries to get up. She looks around her. Pieces are everywhere. Becca's laboratory wasn't even considered a laboratory anymore. It doesn't have a roof anymore, it hardly has walls. Just some tables remained and some stairs.

She started walking around, trying to find something, anything that could possibly help him. It was a laboratory, Clarke was sure there was something. If she was lucky enough, she could even find a new (and ready to launch) rocket so they could find the others in space. She shook her head - that would never happen.

''Bingo.''

She grabbed some sort of syringe, detecting immediately that it was Becca's serum, which Abby was testing some days ago. There were two syringes that remained intacted by praimfaya.

Clarke looked at Bellamy and then at the serum. Her head was telling her it wouldn't make any difference, if he's dead already nothing could help him. But her heart... her heart told her with every certainity that the serum could make him smile and hug her again.

She runs to Bellamy and stabs the syring into his skin, trying to ignore her head screaming against her will. She had to do this.

''Bellamy,''

She does the same with the other serum.

''Bellamy, it's going to be alright. I know you can do this.''

Clarke grabs his hand.

''You're strong. No one can tear you down, not even this stinky praimfaya,''

She tries to joke.

The princess, as he would call her, looks one more time at him. She would do anything, anything, to sink into his dark brown eyes. She would do anything to hear his voice, even if it was to scream at her. She would do anything to fight with him, to laugh with him, to make intellectual jokes, to just exchange looks and communicate with their eyes.

It had been a while, until Clarke finally realized what was happening. She saved Raven, Echo, Murphy, Monty and Harper but couldn't save Bellamy. She ran to the laboratory and survived, but Bellamy didn't. She should've had insisted more with Bellamy, so he would enter the rocket with the others, but she didn't. And now Bellamy is here, with her, but at the same time he isn't. He is far away, next to her father and Jasper.

''I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I did this to you..''

Clarke lets her body fall, her head pressed to his chest once anymore.

''I did this to you and to everyone. I lost them, I lost you, I even lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore.''

''You warned me, you tried to help me, everyone tried. Everyone was expecting and expecting and I kept making mistakes and I took lives, I...''

''How did I survive?''

She sobs, squeezing his hand.

''I, of all people, survived. You should've had survived, not me. You should right now be here, breathing and smiling and jumping, I don't know- I just-''

''You deserve to live more.''

Clarke cried against Bellamy's chest, wishing she wouldn't be here, alone and alive. She cried loudly, not caring if anyone heard, because the true was - no one was here to hear it. She was all by herself.

She stayed like this for a bit, she finally understood that Bellamy was dead and that he sacrificed his life so she could live, so she would be the last person he saw before closing his eyes forever. He preferred dying holding her, than dying up in space surrounded by some of his closest friends.

Complete silence surrounded the two leaders.

Nothing.

There was nothing left.

Praimfaya destroyed everyhting.

And then, out of the blue, he squeezed her hand and everything made sense again.

Praimfaya didn't destroy everything, after all.

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