His Last Vow: Part One

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a/n: warning: this chapter gets real dark (forced drug use may be unsettling [oops spoiler I think?]) also the next part will be up tomorrow!
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I tossed and turned in bed, trying to fall completely asleep. For weeks after the wedding it was a chore to even sleep, and most nights I just lied awake and thought about how much my life had failed. That night I remembered I walked all the way back into town and got a cab to 221, where I tried the cigarette for the first time. Of course, I coughed up the smoke instantly, but the sensation took some of the evening's painful moments away.

I kept playing the conversations over in my head: First with Daniel, and my heart broke a thousand times over again. Then I would try to wrap my head around how the school of my dreams rejected me before even giving me a chance, making my future desolate. By this point I had already started crying, and then once I thought of Sherlock, and what he did, what he had the audacity to do, I would bury my face in my pillow and sob. I could still feel his lips on mine, and each time it shook me to remember.

As Autumn continued, I saw Sherlock less and less. I would be out during the day, and he would be out during the night, we had a system like that. If there ever was a moment where we were in the flat at the same time, one of us would be in our rooms. Usually him with Janine. I'd cringe at the idea of Sherlock having any kind of partner, and feel even more replaced than I already did. Whenever I would start to miss him, I'd remember and feel spiteful again. Still, I missed when it was just us, which was strange.

Who I missed even more was John, of all people. He lived with Mary now, as he used to, but now it was a continuing reality. He never came by in the months that followed the wedding. Domestic Bliss I suppose.
I continued communication with neither Lucy nor Daniel after I caught him with someone else the night of the wedding. Now they both had tainted memories with me.

I lied on my back as the sounds of the city played behind my window. Taking in breaths to relax myself, I tried to block all of the baggage from the last few months, and thought of the possible pursuit I had come up with several days after the wedding.

I wanted to find my dad.

I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I did know that somewhere, there was evidence of his existence, and perhaps he was still existing. I smiled at the thought, but was distracted when I heard a door shut.

There were footsteps moving about the flat, and I quickly hopped out of bed, slid on some shoes, and opened my door. I opened it to Sherlock frozen at the kitchen exit from the flat.

"What do you think your doing?" I asked immediately, wondering why he wasn't fondling with Janine.

"Go back to bed." Sherlock ordered quietly.

"Or what? Or you'll kiss me to calm me down?" I questioned, raising my voice.

His eyes widened and he moved quickly to me, shushing me vigorously. For someone who doesn't have a single casual shirt in his wardrobe, Sherlock was dressed in a plastic jumper, and swishy sweatpants. Not to mention his pair of sneakers.

"Aspen, for God's sakes, please. I'm going out, it's for a case." He pleaded, sounding quite serious.

"Like I've never heard that before." I scoffed.

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