Cocktails and Beer. | Grillby x reader |

|Chapter 25:| Contemplative

Y/N's POV:

Grillby's sobbing broke my heart. I hadn't realized how much love could hurt when you adore someone with so much passion. When you love, you start to feel what they feel, yet you also have to endure the hardships with them. I didn't know what I, we, had to face, here in the underground. I blinded myself with work, and when work was gone, we truly saw life as it was, and that was filled with sacrifices and hardships.

It was all a distraction. Something so we couldn't think about problems, so we don't have to deal with it at the time, but when that barricade all crumbles away, you're only left with the deteriorating inside, if there even was one to begin with. You can now see beyond the wall that separated you from the barren wasteland.

I patted Grillby's back, feeling his warmth slowly lowering in temperature. His tears were gathering on my shoulders, my skin feeling the warmth of his tears. We held that position for a long time. It only broke when one of the skeleton brothers came in, and would be ready to utter something, but then contort their face in an apology for interrupting. Our long hug quickly disbanded after that, feeling a bit awkward with there being others around. 

This left me and Grillby to sit outside on the steps of Sans and Papyrus's house, thinking over what we were to do.

"Grillby, you know that... We can't stay down here forever..." I begin to speak, breaking the silence between us.

"No! There has to be a job somewhere! We could... We could..." Grillby tried to think of a way to happily sustain ourselves, with a good job that didn't consist of working as a janitor at some other fancy restaurant.

"I know. There could be a job." I comment, thinking of the possible future. "Maybe at some other place, where we could build up money and find a place to live."

"The inn possibly? That's always a place to stay at." Grillby throws in, reminding me of the times that I stayed in the inn.

"Yeah that's a possibility. But... we can't run away from King Asgore forever." I try to add, but Grillby was too stubborn to accept the fact that I could possibly die.

"No. You're not going to risk your life for the underground. We have lived down here for a while now, what's another ten years?.." Grillby tried to persuade me, which also seemed to be for him as well. 

But that wouldn't be enough to change my mind.

"Grillby..." I mumble, scooting closer to him, feeling the coolness of the snow slowly start to ebb away because of Grillby's heat.

"*sigh* You're going to do it aren't you?" He turned his gaze towards me, the light bouncing off his glasses, so I could only partially see his face from behind them. "You're going to sacrifice yourself for the fate of the monsters aren't you?"

Grillby's face was usually so obvious, but this time it was unreadable. His expression was so guarded, as though he's trying to block everything out. "Yes." I cautiously say, feeling a bit selfish. "You're not... mad?"

It was at this time that Grillby snapped a bit. "Mad? Mad?! What do you think?! I don't want to lose the love of my life again!" His voice raised, exasperation was evident, but it was forming into desperation. "Please. Let me be a little selfish and want you all to myself. You don't have to do it for everyone else. Just... Please stay. But I know you're not going to do that. I just..." Grillby turned his head away from me. "You don't know what it's like to lose someone you love, only to get a feeling like that once more, only for them to leave you again..." Grillby's voice was getting soft, his anger was fading. "Why can't I live a happy life? Why does this always happen? The moment things turn different, everything just... crumbles.