The Handcuff Game

Chapter 21 - He's not Mine

I let her words sink in, not wanting to believe them as they did. "What do you mean?" I stuttered.

She sighed, "I'm sorry Reed. But isn't this what you wanted? For things to go back to normal? You walked out on him."

I shook my head, but deep inside, I knew she was right. I had practically been begging for all of this to be over the entire time we had been together. I never stopped to think about what was happening until...well until last night.

It shouldn't have been hard to miss – the way he spoke to me...the way he looked at me. I had pushed it all out. Had I really been that closed up after Dad passing that I couldn't even let down a wall to see what he was doing? Maybe I was the one who bullied Alec – maybe I was the bad guy.

Yet, he still put up with it. He wanted me – that was an unfamiliar feeling. And deep down, I knew I wanted him. I wanted him so much that I pushed him away – what if I lost him? What if he stopped wanting me?

"I-I." Put down the wall Reed. Make her fix this.

But nothing came out.

"It's okay, Reed." She took my hand gave me that warm smile she was famous for. It usually made me feel better, but this time, it didn't. "You two just weren't meant for each other. I'm sorry I put you through this. But, now you can move on." She pulled me into a tight hug, "Love you, Reed."

"Surina." I said. But she was already out of the car walking the opposite way of the school.

My heart crumbled. Somehow, I knew that would be the last time I would ever see Surina And I hadn't said anything to her. I just let her go.

"Please don't leave." I didn't really know who I was talking to in that moment.

I noticed Surina pause and turn around for a split second. She just smiled, which sent me into a fit of tears. My head fell to the steering wheel as I cried, and when I looked back up, she was gone.

So that was it? She gets to erase herself from everyone's memory but mine, and now she's erasing me from Alec's? Why hadn't she erased mine before she left? She's just leaving me here to deal with this? Why didn't I tell her how I really felt about him! Why couldn't I admit it?

And why did she do this in the first place if we "weren't meant for each other?" Why put us through all of this? Was she ever even my best friend? Or just someone sent to screw up my life? I didn't understand what I possibly could have done to deserve this.

Come on Reed, you're stronger than this. That familiar, faint voice rang in my head. The same voice that came to me when Dad passed.

I cleared my throat and wiped the tears out from under my eyes. So, he forgot. I could learn to forget too. Maybe Surina was right, we just weren't meant for each other.

The first bell suddenly rang.

"Shit," I muttered and gathered my things.

I half-ran to class, trying to push all thoughts of Alec and Surina from my mind. I could do this. Once I got there, I buried my head into my desk and took a few long drawn out breaths.

And then it came. That little tap.

Something hot shot through my veins as bile rose in my throat. Don't turn around Reed, you'll throw up all over him. My stomach was doing flips.

Another tap.

I clenched my fists and dug my nails into my palms to compose myself, then turned around. He had that same smirk from last night – from the last 3 days. And suddenly, I wondered if he remembered. Maybe he hadn't forgotten either. Maybe Surina was wrong and we could figure this out -.

"What are you looking at?" He snorted.

Another wave of nausea hit me. He really didn't remember – none of the good times, none of the bad times. He didn't know I knew how hard his parents were on him or that he didn't even really like Brin. He didn't know anything. The last 3 days never happened.

"Hello? Earth to Parker." Alec snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"What?" Was all I could spit out.

He smirked again. Ugh. "You're the one who turned around."

I spun back around, feeling my cheeks grow red. Alec started poking me with the eraser on his pencil repeatedly, and I let him. I didn't want to argue with him.

Not anymore anyways.

"Reed." Mr. Brown pulled me out of my daze as he pointed at the board, "Do you have the answer?"

"Uhm." I stared frantically at the math problem at the board, as if somehow the answer would magically pop into my mind.

Several seconds passed before a gruff voice behind me said, "8700."

"Thank you, Alec but let's let Reed answer next time, alright?" He turned back to the board and continued the lecture.

"Might want to pay attention." His soft voice breathed through my hair, sending chills down my spine.

I bit my lip and mumbled a quick 'thanks' that he probably didn't even hear.

The second class ended, I gathered my stuff and darted out of the classroom, avoiding eye contact with Alec at all costs.

As I walked down the hallway, someone suddenly grabbed my arm, sending butterflies through me. Did he -.

I turned to see Brin, her face scrunched in disgust, "What did Alec whisper to you in class?" She hissed, flipping her blonde locks to the side.

There it was – that little bubble of anger forming. "That's none of your business." I said plainly.

"He's my boyfriend." She gritted her teeth and tightened her grip.

I yanked free of her hand, my heart racing. In truth, I wanted to run away, throw up and cry, but like always, I stood my ground. "Not by choice."

Her face twisted into fury and she lunged for me. Just then, a pair of arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her to Alec's chest. The move only made me want to throw up more. That had been me at one point.

"Whoah girls, hope you're not fighting over me." He chuckled and winked at me.

Brin huffed and planted a deep kiss on Alec's lips.

Disgust flowed through me – I couldn't watch this. I couldn't do this. What had I been thinking? That I could just forget everything?

I spun on my heels and headed for the double doors that went to the parking lot. I couldn't be here right now.

I didn't have Surina anymore and I didn't have Alec.

I don't know if I even had myself.