It Can Never Be

16. Things Get Brighter

Wide awake, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. That's how I spent most of my night. Most of my night up until a text message appeared on my phone whilst I was browsing Tumblr.

"Hey! I can't sleep" it read, it was from Izaak.

My answer was simple, "same" I typed. The conversation continued for a while, there was no phone call up until I read a message that made me think. A message referring to why I might not have been able to sleep. It made some sense, but I didn't know why. That was when I called him.

"What makes you think that?" I sneered.

"Think what?" he yawned back.

"That it's nerves keeping me up?"

"It makes sense, dude. Think about it, you basically told the freaking world you're gay."

"Did not" I protested.

"You did, you kissed a guy in front of a large audience."

"We-well..."

"Yeah, you're fu-"

"Not really. I suppose it was about time. Why can't I just be open about it?"

"I thought you wanted to be successful, when you work and all."

"Yeah, what's that got to do with it?"

"You can't get a good job if your'e-"

"Izaak, that's stupid. It's not like that any more, it doesn't matter."

"Whatever you say, you're the smart one." Both ends went silent for a while. Neither of us seemed to have anything to say any more, honestly I was a bit mad too.

"You should go see Alex tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is Sunday, he'll be at church."

"He goes to- never mind. I mean when the sun comes up."

"Oh, yeah I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"It's a little weird, isn't it?"

"I-I don't know, is it? Whatever, just do something this weekend, don't stay around Rory, he's been a dick."

"I know. Well, what are you doing?"

"Going out with Grandma, she's conned me into it, because you know how she is, she says she won't be around much longer, how much she wants to spend time with you before she dies" he went on about this for a while. I listened, but not all that well, I started thinking about other things. Like how I was hungry, like how I had this odd feeling of loneliness. I got out of bed, still on the phone, I walked off into the kitchen. I managed to find leftover curry in the freezer, I didn't know how long it had been in there and I wasn't sure if it mattered, but it smelt okay, so I shoved it in the microwave. After only a few minutes of eating I heard a shocked noise for Izaak.

"What?" I asked with my mouth full.

"Are you eating?!"

"Yep."

"Wh-wh- you're on the phone to me!"

"So?"

"You're so clever and 'so' is all you can come up with?"

"Yep." I decided to wander around the house for a while as I ate. I peered into Rory's room to see if he was awake yet, I was unaware of the time, and he wasn't there. I stood in the doorway with a puzzled look on my face, holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder, the container with my left hand, and my fork with the right.