Closet Thoughts (a short Joshler story) 🏳️‍🌈 ✔️

⏮20⏭⏯⏹

uh.

hello.

I know y'all are probably gone & not here anymore but hello I'm here

I am so so so so so sorry for the insanely late update. I was SO stuck on this story for some reason all because Wattpad deleted a chapter I worked super hard on and I had to rewrite it and it's much worse than it was beforehand - because I know I wrote many important things that I just forgot about and couldn't rewrite because the ideas were gone.

Anyways, I'm back, and I love you and if you are still here, HOLY SHIT! insane. I love you. Thank you for your support.

Let me know with a comment or a vote if you're still here? I'd love to hear and see who still stuck around for an update of this story, when it has been so long.

I love you and I hope you'll enjoy this very short chapter that's here for me to try and get back to this and FINALLY finish this story.

Love you loads.

Word count: 1356

~~

Around 1 PM the next afternoon, Jeremy knocked on the bedroom door.

"Josh? Tyler?" He said, but got no reply. He opened the bedroom door slowly to see Tyler asleep on top of Josh, his head resting on Josh's chest while his and Josh's hands were intertwined and Josh's other arm was around Tyler's waist. Josh was waking up at that moment.

He opened his eyes and saw Jeremy in the doorway, "Oh hey Jeremy", he softly said, voice hoarse. He then noticed Tyler asleep on top of him and he gently moved the boy off of him so he was now on the bed laying next to Josh.

Josh sat up a bit. "Uh, sorry", he blushed as he looked at Jeremy, who smiled as he closed the door behind him. "No need. Are you two together?" He asked Josh as he walked a bit closer and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Uh, um no, just- just friends", Josh blushed. "You can trust me", Jeremy assured his friend. "Uh n-not... not officially", Josh said, blush deepening.

Jeremy smiled crookedly. "That's cute, you two", he said. "Really?" Josh asked. Jeremy hummed and nodded.

"So are you gay, Josh?" Jeremy asked. "Uh, I... well I Uh-I... Uh, yeah", Josh said. He smiled softly. "Yeah, I am. I'm gay", he said. It felt so good to say that out loud to someone that wasn't Tyler or himself. Jeremy's smile widened a bit. "Cool", he replied, resting his hand on Josh's shoulder and giving him a light squeeze. "Love you. Love Tyler too", he said. Josh smiled. "I love you too", he said.

"Uh, can you um... please not tell Tyler you found us like that? Or that you know?" He asked. "My lips are sealed", Jeremy said. "No one will know, I promise", he said. Josh sighed relieved. "Thank you", he smiled.

"So, last night", Jeremy started. "We heard quite a loud bang and we heard Tyler's voice loudly", Jeremy said. "Oh, uh, yeah", Josh sighed softly, smile fainting.

"I was gonna tell the other guys that there was a big spider I killed for Ty but since you know this much already.." he trailed. He then pointed at the wall, before nodding at Tyler's hand with the bandage around it.

Jeremy's eyes went big. "Is he okay? Is it bad?" He asked worriedly. "I- I Uh... I don't- I don't know", Josh shrugged, his voice quiet. "I hope he will be", he softly said.

"I don't really know how bad it is, uhm", Josh mumbled. "He was angry that he still seemed to be unhappy even though he has me like this now but he's... struggling", Josh muttered. "And he lost it, and he honestly scared the living shit out of me", Josh said, biting his lip. He didn't want to cry but it felt like he was about to.

"I don't know J", Josh softly said.

"That's okay", Jeremy assured him. "Don't worry. I'm one million percent sure Tyler's gonna be fine, I promise you that", he said. Josh softly nodded.

"Was this also the reason he wanted to sleep here?" Jeremy asked. Josh's cheeks tinted pink. "Uh-uh not us we-we didn't do anything", he blushed. Jeremy let out a gentle laugh. "That isn't what I meant, don't worry", he said. "Okay good", Josh blushed, letting out a soft laugh.

"He uh... he doesn't feel comfortable around the team", Josh said. "He's been doing pretty awful lately because he doesn't want them or anyone else to know, and at first he wanted to cancel but he's here for me, uh... he felt pretty terrible yesterday and he wanted to go home really badly but he stayed for me so I offered to ask if he could sleep here so he'd have some space, some privacy basically, so he could... breathe", Josh shrugged softly. "And kind of relax, without having to worry about everyone and everything. Have some time for himself, and he wanted me to be with him, which I wanted too. But uh... well, it didn't exactly turn out as expected. He didn't calm down much... he just got sadder and lonelier. He only calmed down once he scared me..." Josh trailed softly.

"I'm sorry, J", Jeremy sighed softly. "You'll be home again soon, hm? You don't have to stay the whole day. It'd just make me happy if you'd have some breakfast, I'll prepare you some", he said. "I don't want to force either of you to stay here with us if that's not the right thing to do right now. I won't be mad, and neither will the others be, I'm sure", he assured Josh.

"You're- you're not gonna tell them about-" Josh started. "No, no of course not, I promised you I won't", he told his friend. Josh sighed softly and he nodded. "I'll see what Tyler says when he wakes up or when I wake him up but... Since what happened yesterday evening, I'm not sure how long he wants to stay", he said. "You could've gone home yesterday too if that would've been better, Josh. You don't have to stay here, you're not obligated to", Jeremy told him. "But it's our thing... It's the team's thing. We didn't want to leave, we just wanted some space, but... It escalated negatively and now you have a blood stain on your wall", Josh sighed.

"That's the last thing you have to worry about, Josh. The only thing you need to worry about is you and your boy, that's it. Make sure both of you choose what's best for you; stay or go home. I want you to breathe, and if being here is suffocating either of you, you can leave whenever you want", he said.

"You're really the best guy I've ever met, Jeremy", Josh sighed and Jeremy smiled softly. "C'mere", he said as he opened his arms and Josh gave him a tight hug.

"I'll try to wake up my baby- uh, wake up Tyler - and see what he says", Josh said, blushing as he quickly corrected himself.

"Yeah, you should wake up your baby and see what he says", Jeremy smiled with a wink, before he got up and he left the bedroom.

Joshua looked at Tyler, who was still asleep, and he sighed softly. He loved the boy so much. He wished he could just make him happy forever, and happy with himself, and accept himself fully. It hurt him to know that Tyler was so, so terribly hurt.

He leaned over and he pressed a soft few kisses on Tyler's arm. "I love you", he whispered.

~~

what did you think? I'd love to hear your opinion on this short chapter. I'm sorry that it's so short but I think that's what I always did in this story? I'm honestly not sure, I just wanted to finish this and finally publish it. I hope you forgive me for being away for so long and then only uploading such a short chapter.

I'm trying really hard, I promise. Love you. <3 Thank you for everything. Hope to hear from you if you're still here.