Closet Thoughts (a short Joshler story) 🏳️‍🌈 ✔️

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When Josh woke up, he sighed as he noticed that he'd fallen asleep while wearing his usual clothes. He also noticed that he wasn't in his bed, and that the sun was up, and that Tyler wasn't in bed next to him anymore.

He pushed himself up a little and saw Tyler sitting on his window seat with the blanket wrapped around himself. His head was against the window while his arms were wrapped around his knees. He was staring out the window at the raindrops running down the glass.

Josh got up and walked toward the window seat. He rested his hand on Tyler's shoulder and Tyler jumped a little, quickly turning around to see what startled him.

"Oh hi Josh", Tyler said, wiping his eyes. "I didn't notice you woke up." "It's okay", Josh said, putting one foot on the bench before he sat down behind Tyler. His hand was still resting on his best friend's shoulder.

Tyler just kept hugging his knees to his chest as he stared out the window, before he turned his head to the side a bit. "C-can I-", he started, but he didn't have to finish his sentence. "Of course, Ty", Josh said, spreading his legs a bit to give Tyler more room. Tyler shuffled back a little and then lay back, his back resting against Josh's chest and tummy. He wrapped the blanket around him again and gently bit the fabric as he stared out the window.

"Thank you", Tyler softly said. "Always", Josh replied, caressing Tyler's hair back for a second. Tyler sighed softly.

"I feel like the sky today", Tyler then softly said after a while. "It's shedding so many tears", Josh hummed. Tyler nodded. "I feel like that too", he said.

Josh wrapped his arms loosely around Tyler's waist. He didn't really know what to say; it was hard to find words to say to Tyler at some moments. Just because he wanted to say so much that he couldn't find the right words.

Tyler wanted to say something, when there was a short knock on the door and the door opened.

Tyler startled, immediately sitting up and shuffling away from Josh when he saw his mom. Josh pulled his hands back once Tyler moved away from him, 'cause it was obvious that Tyler wasn't comfortable being seen like that.

"Hi boys, did you sleep well?" Kelly asked. Josh smiled and nodded. "Sorry for crashing here without letting you know", he said. "Oh it's okay, Josh. Your mom asked if you were coming home but you didn't answer your phone so I came up here to check on you two. Found you here both asleep and cuddled up together", she said.

Josh noticed Tyler shuffling away from him a little bit more. He then turned to look out the window without saying anything.

"Do you boys want to have some breakfast? I'll prepare you some", she said. "That'd be great, thank you Kelly", Josh smiled. "Ty and I will be heading out for a little bit in a while after breakfast but we won't be long", Josh then said.

"Alright sweetheart", Kelly said to Josh. "I'll let you know when breakfast is ready", she added, before closing the door.

Tyler got up from the bench once she closed the door and walked to the closer with his blanket wrapped around him securely. He grabbed a shirt and looked back at Josh. "Can you... turn around?" Tyler asked.

Well, that was the end of Tyler feeling comfortable without a shirt and his scars visible around Josh. He could've expected that. He'd just hoped he would be right. Well, he wasn't.

"Sure", Josh said, turning to the window more as he looked outside. Tyler quickly put on the shirt when he'd dropped the blanket. He then put the blanket on the bed.

"You can grab a shirt from my closet. Be right back", Tyler said, leaving the room.

Josh sighed. The sudden change in Tyler's behavior made him a little sad.

•

Tyler got downstairs and walked into the kitchen. Only momma Joseph was at home.

"Hi honey", Kelly said.

"I'm not gay or anything", Tyler said. Kelly looked up. "Okay?" She said. "Yeah. I don't want you to think or say that I am", he replied.

"I never did, honey", she replied. "Okay", Tyler said.

"'Cause nothing was going on", Tyler said. Kelly hummed. "Alright, sweetie."

"We were just- it-it was easier that way".

"Okay honey."

"'Cause my back hurts and there's uh there's not that much space and otherwise it would hurt, so.. y'know".

Kelly hummed.

"'Cause I'm not gay."

"Okay sweetie."

"Okay."

It was silent for a few seconds.

"So don't think that I am 'cause I'm not."

"Alright honey."

"Even if we were hugging when we were asleep 'cause I was asleep and didn't mean to."

"Sure thing, sweetie."

"Okay. Right", Tyler then said. He stood there for a few seconds, not knowing what to say or do. Then he turned around and went back upstairs.

When he got back upstairs, his hand rested on the door knob. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He hated himself so much. He let his forehead fall against his bedroom window.

"Yeah?" Josh replied.

Tyler quickly stepped back, then opened the door. "Sorry, bumped my elbow", he said. "No problem", Josh smiled at him.

Tyler just wanted him to stop smiling his beautiful smile.

"Found a shirt?" Tyler asked as he sat down on the bed. "Sure did", Josh replied. He sat down on the bed too, not too close to Tyler.

"Wanna go to my sister's right after breakfast?" He asked. Tyler shook his head. "Wanna to in the afternoon then?" Josh asked. Tyler shook his head. "Don't wanna go."

"We're going, Ty", Josh said. "You promised me. She's just gonna check up on you, that's all", he added. "Just want you to be okay."

"I am okay", Tyler replied. "Ty-" Josh started.

"It was a mistake to tell you about it, shouldn't've even showed you", he said.

"Stop", Josh replied. "Don't do that. I don't know why you suddenly act like this since your mom walked in but it's not gonna change what you said yesterday or right before she walked in. We're visiting my sister today, and that's that. I'm not gonna allow you to change my mind on this, Tyler", Josh sighed.

Tyler was silent.

"You're already getting tired of me, aren't you?" he then softly said. He could already feel the tears returning. He hated himself so much. 

"No, Ty, never", Josh sighed, moving closer to his best friend. "You're my bestie, you're stuck with me. Promised you that last night and I'm promising this again right now", he said, wrapping his arms around Tyler to hug him.

Tyler let him, resting his head on Josh's shoulder. "M'sorry", he sighed softly. "You don't have to be, Ty. You're okay", Josh told him reassuringly. Tyler rested his hand gently on Josh's arm. "Thank you for being stubborn", he softly said. Josh smiled. "I think you're the stubborn one here, bestie", he said. That made tyler smile softly as he closed his eyes again, gently squeezing Josh's arm for a second.

"I'll try to be less stubborn", he said.

~~

Jumpsuit jumpsuit, cover me

What did you guys think of this? Let me know please! I love this story ugh. Said it'd be 5-10 chapters but it's gonna be a little bit longer. Still no huge fic though!just took some more time to talk about Tyler's inner struggles. Wasn't planning on doing that in this story st first (:

My boys are back and I'm insanely happy. Planning future concerts ((((:

Word count: 1288