TOP Secret (T.O.P FanFiction)

Chapter Twelve: Love Of My Life

~TOP's POV~

Ever since I carried Elise all the way to the hospital I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. The way she said my name before she passed out was constantly replaying in my mind. I can't stand to see her so hurt. Now all I can do is pretend to be okay, for the boys of course.

Suddenly my nose begins to itch and my eyes begin to sting and water. "Hyung!" Ji calls from the kitchen. I stand up from my desk in my room and rush to the sound of his voice. He's taking pieces of burnt toast out of the toaster oven.  I chuckle and weave through the couches until I reach his side. "Move over." I say shoving him out of the way. I quickly unplug the cord from the wall and begin fanning the smoke filled air with a small paper plate. Ji covers his nose and the other members emerge from their rooms with looks of disgust pasted on their faces."Damn. Ji did you try cooking again." YoungBae's hand pinches his nose making his voice sound high. I nod my head and sigh. Daesung laughs and walks next to me with a scrunched up nose. "Let me cook, I'll make your favourite."

I smile at the younger boy and he smiles back. The corners of his mouth turn up as I thank him before walking back over to my desk. Without any more distractions we all go back to work. Ji locks himself in his room to write a song. YoungBae organises his room. Daesung cooks, while Seungri tries to help book some interviews. Then there's me. Alone in my room, trying not to think about a girl who's completely taken over my mind. I pick up a gold fountain pen from my pencil case and tap it against my glasses. My finger slides the dark coloured frame farther up my nose as I stare at the white blank page in front of me. My finger dances around the top of the writing utensil until I can finally fathom a few words to write.

Elise, There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about you. I miss you more than any human could ever imagine. I miss waking up with you next to me each morning. I hate having to be away from you, and not being able to see you for God knows how long. Take care of your health. Don't stay up too late and watch horror movies, araso? It's not good for you. Then you'll be afraid to sleep at night and you don't have me there to snuggle up against. I love you, beautiful. 

P.S. Stay away from any guys. I don't like them around you.

My pen slowly moves away from the paper that is now filled with words of her native language. I inhale deeply before setting it down and picking up the paper. I fold it in half before placing it inside a new white, untouched envelope. I lick the rim before sealing it shut and getting up from my seat. "Food's almost done!"' Dae calls as I walk out into the living room that now smells of chicken and salted eggs. Mmm, eggs.

He turns around and looks at me. A smile soon covers his face as he lays his eyes upon my unpredicted presence. "Where are you goin'?" Dae asks while stirring the eggs around so they wouldn't stick to the pan. My eyes stare at the food while replying to his question. "I have a letter to send." He nods before facing the stove again. "Ah, well food's done so hurry back. Be quick, Bingu!"

I laugh a little before grabbing a black jacket from the wooden coat hanger. My hand reaches for my keys which were inside a small bowl near the door. I pull the hood over my head, down to my face so no one could see me. As much as I love being a celebrity, I hate it. I never receive any privacy, from anyone but my band members. We all respect each other and agree that privacy inside our home is very important and will always be no matter what. Since I woke up this morning I tried to keep my head down to keep from people looking into my eyes. I may seem as if I have no emotions, as if I have no heart or feelings. But that's what I fear for. If you look deep enough you can find a grief stricken man, mourning in horrible silence.

I open the door, the brisk winter air surrounding my body like a blanket. Specks of white fell from the sky and on to the floor. I close the door behind me and begin bounding down the stairs. Once my feet hit the pavement I release a deep breath that I hadn't noticed I had been holding in. My black Jordan's drag themselves across the long, empty parking lot until I reach a small square shaped mail box. 

I have one end of the envelope in my hand as I tap the other end in my open palm. My eyes stare down at the paper in my hands, glancing up occasionally to see if anyone was watching. I bring the envelope closer to my face, kissing it lightly before my hand slowly moves closer to the slit in the metal box. I stare at it, unsure if I should really send it or not. How is she going to react? Will she yell at me if we see each other again? Every thing that could ever go wrong runs through my head, infecting every good thought I have of her. She would be over come with rage and sadness and I just can't do that to her.

"Oh my god!" A voice screams from behind me. I turn my head to see a teenage girl covering her mouth as she squeals with excitement. Her bright red hair  pulled up in a high ponytail. She wears a blue "Avengers" pullover and ripped bleached jeans. My eyes widen and I stare at her for way longer than I expected. I have to leave. I shove the letter inside the mail box and walk up to her."ohmygod you're Choi Seung Hyun!" She squeals as she jumps up and down.

Without any warning she pushes herself  on to me. Her arms wrap around my torso. At first I'm angry that a complete stranger had hugged me without asking but soon I become warmed by the thought of her only being a child. I smile at her as she pulls away and looks up. "Can you sign my sweater?" She grins, her voice now calm and more steady. "Sure." I shove my hands in my pocket in search for a marker. I usually keep one just on case I happen to run into a situation like this. I pull out a black sharpie and tell her to turn her back to I could sign the sweater. She agrees and faces the other way. I quickly glide the marker across the thin fabric in her sweater before waveing to her to quickly run back to the apartment. I burst through the door, panting and sweating from the treacherous running distance. As I barge in all of the boys stare at me, chopsticks in hand with scrambled eggs dangling from each utensil.

"Fan." I assure them as I peel off the leather jacket and place it back on the rack. They all nod and continue eating. I sit down in an empty seat next to Seungri. I smile at him but he looks away in fear. Poor boy, he's always been so shy to me. But he's really fun to be around. Jiyong begins speaking about how Seungri had booked an interview next week.

"How about you, what did you mail out today?" Daesung asks as he chases a piece of chicken on his plate with the wooden chopsticks. It's called hashi in Japanese, another language that Elise speaks. I shrug my shoulders, stuffing my face with chicken to keep him from asking more. "Who did you send it to?" He asks again. I chew what's in my mouth slowly to give me time to figure out what to say. "Well?" Ji chuckles. My hand reaches for the half full glass of water next to my plate. "The love of my life." I reply before continuing to eat the food left on my plate.

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Hey guys! Please vote and comment cx I hope you all like this chapter, just imagine you're Elise o rthe fan, your choice owo I'm sure TOP loves you very much! okay, until next update!  

~ ギャビー