"Brendon, honey, we can go now", my mum said standing outside my door.
"O-ok", I mumbled. I saw my reflection in the mirror, seeing a 18 year old boy with watery eyes. I had a black t-shirt and black skinny jeans on.
You have to get through this.
You're not a little kid anymore.
I gulped feeling a knot in my throat. I took a deep breath to calm me down a bit. I gritted my teeth and opened the door.
My mum stood there, her eyes puffy.
"Come here", she said hugging me tight, "it's ok."
I nod against her shoulder. Don't cry.
Not again.
She let go of me and walked to the car where my dad and siblings already sat in.
The whole ride was silent, nobody spoke. I was thankful for that, because I didn't really feel like talking at all.
"We're here", Ava whispered tapping my shoulder. Before I opened the door she gave me a sad smile.
The wind was cold and I wished I had a jacket on. My feed automatically brought me forward. I knew exactly where to go.
I kept my eyes on the ground, not wanting to see any dates and names, that could depress me even more.
And then I stopped walking. My eyes wandered up seeing a tombstone I front of me.
The tears were making their way to my eyes, wanting to come out but I held them back. Why does this have to hurt so much?
It was four fucking years ago. I should have been over it. Moved on. But now, I'm stuck here.
I can't go over it. You meant too much to me.
I kneeled down laying the white flowers down, he liked white ones.
My chest was going up and down, nearly trembling.
"C-can y-you p-please l-leave f-for a-a m-moment?", I asked my family turning around.
"Sure", my mother said walking away with the rest.
"I-im sorry", I whispered when the rest was gone, "I-im s-sorry, m-my s-stupid head c-cant g-get o-over it. Y-You're m-my b-best f-friend, a-and that w-will n-never change. I-i m-met this g-guy, c-called R-ryan. He's n-nice a-and f-funny, a-and h-he has the m-most b-beautiful eyes I-i have e-ever seen."
A few tears managed to escape my eyes.
"Y-you w-would l-like him. I-i l-like him, b-but it's d-different. I-i never l-liked someone the w-way I-i l-like him. I-im s-scared, I-i don't know what t-to d-do without y-you", I said.
"I-i l-love y-you, b-best f-friend", I sobbed managing to break down. I buried my face in my hands and just cried.
Ava sat down next to me and hugged me tight.
"Shhhh", she whispered continue hugging me.
I could have sworn I felt wet drops on my shoulder. Was Ava also crying?
I just knew that I broke down in avas arms in front of my best friends grave, who died four years ago.
*****
YOU ARE READING
Stutter~ Ryden (Finished)
Fanfiction*short chapters, finished* "B-bye Ryan", I whispered after he was gone. I smiled to myself because I managed to say his name out without stuttering.
