Tell Me

Chapter 21

Sydney...

I tend to loathe parties. So many pop up in my hometown, but I don't bother showing up. It's always the same people, doing the same things, and getting into the same type of trouble. When I was invited to a party by Matt this morning though, it peaked my interest.

I decided to wear a tight white tank with jeans. The shirt exposed a hint of my stomach. It was simple, yet it showed off skin, which I liked for once.

I look at myself in the mirror and the words Grandpa said to me enter my thoughts, causing a chill inside of me.

He told me that I have a genetic disease. It's an inability to reach one's full potential. Most people have anxiety attacks as side effects, but others experience much worse. It's so rare that it's unnamed.

I can't decide if I believe this or not. Part of me thinks that it's all in my imagination, what happened last night. But what if it did? Should I trust my grandfather that I just met? He could be going crazy or something.

The whole situation gives me a headache and I'm happy that tonight will be a distraction.

I wanted to do something with my hair, but as I look in the mirror, I see that it actually looks pretty as it is.

I hear a knock on the door and groan, remembering I have another problem in my hands. I have to tell Matt that I only like him as a friend. At least, right now. I don't want to lead him on.

I grab my phone and head downstairs. I open the door to greet Matt and my grandma tells me to have fun as I leave.

Matt grabs my hand. When we get downstairs, I search for his black BMW that we drove in last night. It's nowhere in sight.

"This party's by the lake." I nod as we walk towards it.

I keep thinking about how I'm not attracted to him. I mean seriously, light brown hair, warm brown eyes, tanned skin, the boy is gorgeous. He has the smile that can light up a room, yet it makes me annoyed.

We approach the party. It's a large group of at least fifty people. Matt goes through introductions as we pass and I don't bother to know the names because they probably already forgot mine.

Matt goes to get some drinks for us. I take time to sit on one of the benches placed in the lawn for the owners of the condos that live near here. I scan the crowd for Josh, but there's no sight of him. Funny, he seems like the type of person that would come to these things. He hasn't talked to me in a couple of days either.

I take a whiff of the drink Matt hands me when he comes back and almost gag at the smell of vodka. Matt looks at me expectantly though, so I take a sip of it. Matt downs his in two swallows and puts his arm around me to direct me to the crowd and start mingling.

Josh...

What am I doing? I stare out the window of my living room, glancing at the party that takes place down by the lake.

All of my friends are down there, making summer memories and having fun while I mope around my house. Even April is down there amongst the crowd.

The truth is, I don't want to face Matt. I'm not mad at him, I'm jealous of him. I'm jealous that he doesn't come from a complicated family and is able to go after what he wants. Just two weeks ago, he was making out with Rachel on the golf cart and now, he has Sydney. Sydney won't be the type of girl for him that he can just hook up with. I doubt they've even kissed yet. I'm not sure why he's even sticking around. He's not that type of guy.

I pace around the gigantic room, thinking about the consequences of me attending that party. Fuck it, I'm going.

When I first arrive at the party, I can already tell that a lot of people are drunk. I think about turning around to go back home, but then Sydney enters my mind. If she's at this party, I want to make sure she's safe. This is Logan's party which means that it's all trouble.

I mumble "heys" to acquaintances of mine that pass, but I don't bother to recall their names, I'm just looking for a small blonde girl that beams whenever I'm near, but then realizes I'm watching and looks away. I'm looking for a girl who hasn't had the courage to talk to many people, but deemed me worthy to be one of the only ones to hear her speak. That's the only girl I want right now.

I squeeze through the crowd and at last, I see her. With Matt. He has his arm around her and they're leaning against a pickup truck. She looks so carefree, just giggling at whatever he's saying. I'm not going to lie that a small feeling of hurt twists at my gut.

Suddenly, I feel a clamp on my shoulder. I turn around and see Kyle.

"Sucks right?" He slurs, "Seeing the girl you like with someone else." He pauses as if he's trying to think of a way to word his bullshit, "Story of my life bro."

I remove his hand from my shoulder. "I don't know what you're talking about. I have no feelings for Sydney."

He sways as he responds, bringing his hands up in defense. "No, no, of course not." He says sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

This gets me pissed. "You're obviously wasted right now so I suggest you keep your mouth shut, got me?" If there's one thing Kyle's known for when he's drunk, it's gossiping. I cannot have this news going around, even if it is untrue.

"Yeah man, I get you." He says, "Me and you, we're the same right now. Being in love with girls who want nothing to do with us," He trails as he walks away.

I rub my eyes in frustration. Kyle really annoys me. That's when I look up and see something that causes my vision to go red. Matt is trying to put his arms around Sydney's waist and although that's all he's doing, she looks like she's about to have another panic attack. Matt brings his face closer to her's as she's struggling for space and before I even know it, I'm punching Matt to the ground.

My vision is tunneled and at that moment, I felt it was my sole purpose in life to destroy him, even if he is one of my best friends. I punch him straight in the gut making him wheeze. It's like something came over me, my fist makes contact with his face once more, twice.

I hear Sydney screaming my name, but the sound isn't near, it's far away even if she's still standing close.

Then, the sirens pull me out of the cloud. I look at my "best friend" who's laying on the ground, almost unconscious.