Literally everyone in the comments was like "DALLON MY BB" or like "You're lucky if you get Dally" and like I'm really glad so many people appreciate him so here's a chapter dedicated to him.
The signs as Dallon Weekes tweets:
Aries: Don't drink hydrogen peroxide.
Taurus: Dear rest of the world: Your Dr Pepper game is weak. Do more better. Dally needs his medicine
Gemini: You should use sarcasm HTML. <sarcasm> It's SO awesome. </sarcasm>
Cancer: Whatever, I'm cute af.
Leo: I try to avoid Shrek whenever possible.
Virgo: I'm a shoe. I'm a human shoe. I like to be worn by creatures from the... from the future.
Libra: I often want pizza.
Scorpio: Also, farts are weird, amirite?
Sagittarius: I've never seen cocaine. I've been a touring musician for nearly ten yrs. I feel like I should have at least seen some cocaine by now.
Capricorn: I NEED a sandwich. This is not a joke.
Aquarius: How cool would it be to try waffles at different points in their development? It would be like your tum tum is traveling through time.
Pisces: I was googling 'Danish sperm' like I always do every Thursday night.
YOU ARE READING
ᴱᴹᴼ ᶻᴼᴰᴵᴬᶜ ˢᴵᴳᴺˢ
RandomCredit to Tumblr and Pinterest for some of the posts Completed Zodiac signs about your favorite bands
