How To Save A Life // Tree Bros

chapter four

Chapter Song: Youth- Troye Sivan

Connor Murphy's POV

Psychopath.

That's what people called him.

They weren't that far off, having borderline personality disorder definitely makes you seem like a psychopath.

When Connor found out he had BPD, he wasn't surprised. Larry finally took him to get tested after finding his bloody razors for the third time. His dad knew that Cynthia's bullshit remedies were only making things worse, so he finally snapped and took Connor "to get some real help."

After two years though, and all different dosages and kinds of medication, Connor still hadn't gotten any better.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at the approaching figure.

"You have got to be kidding me," Connor mumbled to himself.

He went years, years without a single person caring about him, and as soon as he's about to get what he's wanted since as long as he can remember, he's interrupted by some socially awkward guy that Connor apparently has wrongly pegged.

How far off could he really be?

It didn't matter, though, Evan didn't matter. Soon enough, he would forget about Connor and then Connor could kill himself in peace.

He just had to fake it till then.

It's not like Connor needed, or wanted, friends. He knows they would all just leave, or that they would only become friends with him to get with Zoe. Connor liked Evan, he didn't want to be abandoned by him. In fact, Connor was probably even more scared of him than Evan was of Connor.

But maybe, just maybe, Evan was different.

He actually seemed like a nice guy, behind all that... well...

Evan.

But he doubted that he would actually want to be Connor's friend. He had an ulterior motive, he had to.

Connor walked down the halls to avoid Evan, watching as people sulked around on this dreadful Monday.

Connor liked people watching, you could tell a lot from a person just based on what you see when they're walking by.

A goodie-two-shoes, freshman boy ran to his class, nearly running into a busy, but calm and collected senior girl who was walking to her class in her high heels among the hundreds of people in the hallway. A jock with no backpack in sight, only a football that he tossed to his friend across the width, making half of the heads flinch in fear of being hit. A popular, but sad sophomore wiping the tear stains off her cheeks.

He didn't know these people, but getting enough glimpses every day made him feel like he did. He knew that same sophomore popular girl did that every morning before class started, plastering on a fake smile, placing an invisible crown on her head, before walking out with her perfect skin and her head held high.

She walked away as the bell rang, as did everyone else. Connor liked his little routine, he liked being the one that was observing rather than being stared at, mocked. No one ever came up to him in these moments, not once.

"Hey Connor."

And of course, no surprise, Evan had to come and ruin it.

"Ev," Connor greeted. His face lit up, like an orphan puppy that found out they were being adopted. "What the fuck do you want."

And just like that, the light was gone.

"O-oh, sorry, I-I didn't mean to like, I'll leave you alone," He started walking away, and Connor felt something.