I change into pajamas and lay in bed. I need to at least try and clear my mind. I'm so fucked up right now. I lay down and stare at the ceiling. Ethan is sleeping on the couch even though I told him multiple time I will. I break. Tears start falling from my face. I push my face in the pillow to muffle the cries. I close my eyes and take deep breaths to calm myself down. Soon enough I fall asleep.
I wake up and grab my phone. I check the time '11:30am' I get up and go into the bathroom. Memories of last night flood into my head. Words from people fill my head worthless, ugly, fat, kill yourself, nobody, stupid, annoying, loser, die, dumb. I felt tears fall down my face. I look into the mirror. I'm just annoying everyone. My own brother hates me. My parents killed them selfs because of me. Ethan and Grayson don't really care about me they are just being nice. I was raped twice. I don't matter. I'm not important. No one cares about me.
I turn on the bath. While I'm waiting for it to fill up I go into Ethan room and find a notebook. I grab a pen and start writing. "Hey ethan and grayson. Thank you for everything you guys have done. You mean the world to me and I want you to know that. What I am doing isn't your fault. I love you guys. I will finally be out of your life and you won't have to be annoyed by me anymore. Goodbye" I put it on the bed and go into the bathroom. I lock the door behind me. I turn off the water and grab my razor blade. I lay in the water. I do deep cuts. I let the blood fill the water. I felt myself getting lightheaded. I hear the boys open the door I guess to wake me up. "Shit" I heard one of them say but I can't make up who. Bangs come from he door. I'm going in and out of consciousness. My head slowing goes underwater. My breathing stops. I faintly hear the door burst open then everyone goes black.
Ethan pov:
Me and Gray come upstairs to wake up Jess. I really hope she's okay from last night. I open the door and she's not in bed. I see a note on her bed I walk over and read. "Shit" I said worried. I quickly hand it to gray. I start handing in the bathroom door. "OPEN THE DOOR JESS!" I yell trying not to cry. "Ethan move" Grayson said throwing the note down. I move and he throws his body into the door busting it open. My heart drops to my stomach. I quickly pull her out of the Bloody water. I check her pulse. It's very low. "GRAY CALL 911" I grab a towel and press it on her cuts to stop the bleeding. Gray runs out of the room to call. "Please be okay. I need you" I said crying. I stroke her hair and cry so hard.
Jess pov:
I wake up to bright lights on my face. I look down and see gaze on both of my wrists. I sigh "hey" I hear Ethan say from next to me. He looks like he hasn't slept in days. How long was I asleep. "Hi" I said groggy. "How are you feeling?" He said worried. "I'm fine" I said giving him a small smile. "How long was I asleep?" I asked confused. "3 days. You lost a lot of blood" he said sad. "Oh" I said looking down. "I'm sorry" I said guilty. "Sorry for what?" He said taking my hand. "Everything" I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. "Hey look at me" He lifts my chin up so I can look at him. "You didn't do anything wrong okay. If you want me to forget your attempt I will. Even though it will be hard I will try. I want you to be happy. I want you to be okay" he said looking me in the eyes. "Thank you" he nods.
The doctor walks in. "Can I talk to Jess in private please" Ethan gives me a smile and walks out. "How are you feeling?" He said sitting next to me. "I'm feeling a little better" I said. "You don't wanna hurt yourself do you" I shake my head. "Okay good" he said smiling. "You should be able to go home in a couple of hours. So hang tight" I nod. He gives me a smile and walks out. Ethan walks in. "Gray is on his way with food" I'm starving. I grab the remote and turn on the tv and we decided to watch a random movie.
Gray walks in with some food. "How are you?" He asked handing me my food. "I'm okay" I said giving him a small smile. I open my salad and eat. I scarfed it down. "I got you 2 just in case" gray said laughing handing me another one. I laugh and thank him. I drink my tea and start on my 2nd salad. "You guys wanna go on a trip to a really cool place tomorrow?" Ethan said smiling. "I'm down but where?" I asked confused. "It's a surprise" I hate surprises and he knows that. "Fine" I said sighing. "I'm down" Gray said with a small smile. We continue eating and talking about random stuff.
I finally leave the hospital. It's now 10:30. We are all so tired. I change into pajamas and lay in bed. Ethan joins me and turn on the tv. He opens Netflix and he puts on a romantic movie. I never pictured him to like romantic movies. I move closer to him and pull the blankets over me. He wraps his arms around my waist I snuggle into his chest. Soon enough I was passed out.
