Friendship, Love, and Other Things That Drive us Insane

Ch.8 The Depth of His Love

* Ayden's POV (; 

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The way I feel about Esmeralda is not an uncommon feeling. Anyone who has ever cared for someone  more than they care for themselves will understand. 

What separates my feelings from everyone else's is just that. They are my OWN. There is only one Esmeralda like her in the world. And THAT, makes all the difference.

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 When I was four years old, Esmeralda moved to the city of Kenley. No, it wasn't love at first sight, and I didn't think she was the most beautiful girl in the world. I was four. I simply watched as they moved into the house next to mine, and to be honest, was a little disappointed to see that a girl had moved in, and not a boy that could be my friend. 

After that, the only times i really saw Esmeralda was when i went outside to take out the garbage and she'd be riding her scooter in her driveway. As we became older, my parents started to get to know her parents. They were automatically invited to my birthday parties, and I to hers, all on the basis of being friendly neighbors.

We went to the same elementary school, and we became friends in the third grade. This was only because of the seating chart in class. It was a standard boy girl seating arrangement, and it just so happened that i ended up sitting next to Esmeralda for the rest of the school year.

We got to know each other, and eventually, as we became older we became closer friends. It was too easy to get close to her, especially since she lived right next to me. 

Its a funny thing letting people become so close to you that they know everything about you. Even though you try to hide things, once you become close to someone, it seems as though whether you want them to or not, they see you for everything that you are. The good, the bad, and the worst of  you.

Esme's seen the worst of me. No matter how hard i tried to hide it from her. 

I have a very bad anger issue. When i get angry, i need to separate myself from whoever made me upset and just be alone, or someone's going to get hurt. I've beaten many guys senseless, back in my middle school days. Esme's seen my anger, but instead of scaring her, it made her so sad. At first i didn't understand AT ALL.  

Then she explained to me that it made her beyond sad that she couldn't do anything or say anything to make me feel better. That really got through to me. It's because of her that i try to be a better person. I never expected her  to have such an impact on my life. But she did. 

When i see other people like John, or anyone else go into a rage, i find myself hating them, because that anger that drove me into near insanity was what i hated most about myself.

She changed me. I haven't gotten that angry since the day she told me how sad it made her to see me that way. I know that it hurt her. And i won't ever let myself or anyone else hurt her. 

She doesn't make that easy though. she's always going out of her way to help people, and she never likes to give up on them. 

 That's why i understand why she won't stop talking to John, even though he completely lost control, she's innocent, and I don't want her to lose that, but i also want her to be aware of the cruelness of the world, to be cautious. 

 But i won't stand by and watch John do that to her. 

I truly love Esmeralda, but right now isn't the right time for us. We were almost a couple, well, we practically were, without the label, but right now, she feels like she needs to focus on other things, and that's just fine with me. 

I'm not going to act like it didn't sting, rejection always does. I know John has a crush on her. I've known for a while. But what can i  do? She may just end up picking him. 

I'm going to just be there for her, and be what she needs me to be, and if that just means being her friend... well, i'm just going to have to deal with it. 

But i won't be able to completely hide my feelings, and i'm not going to try to hard to do so. I want her to know how i feel about her, that i've never stopped loving her.

I don't know what the rest of the year has in store for us, but i intend to make the most of it, and be there whenever she needs me, for whatever reason. That is the best way i can show how i feel, how  I can show the depth of my love for her.

*Author's note

Yes, i know it's been a while, and yes, i know this was short. This was necessary though, to show ayden's perspective, and his feelings. now that the character's personalities have been introduced, the story can really start to pick up. 

Thanks for reading. :)