best friends ; phan

t w e n t y

dan was standing outside, the cold night air filling at atmosphere, dan wrapping his arms around himself in an attempt to keep warm. he remembered how phil used to do this to him, he would lay in phil's pale arms as phil would kiss the told of his head, dan smiling happily. he could believe that everything would be alright, but things are far from okay.

dan waiting awhile before the bright yellow taxi he called arrived, seeming misplaced in this black and white world. dan climbed in, asking the driver to take him to the nearest hotel, he really didn't feel like interacting with anyone, he just needed to be alone for a bit.

he stared out the window, the sad world around him. the moonlight was the only brightness at the moment, the stars seeming useless, but nonetheless they were beautiful. he loved to stargaze with phil, laying on his chest, listening to the patterns of his breathing and his steady heartbeat. he would much rather stare into phil's eyes, though, as they seemed to contain galaxies, the way they sparkled as he looked at dan, true love. at least that's what dan used to think.

he arrived at the hotel, paying the driver and stepping out into the night. he walked in, warm air hitting him, walking over to the front desk where a tired lady stood. she had a messy bun atop her head and dark circles under her eyes. he paid for a room and was handed his room key, shiny like the stars.

dan walked to his room, being greeted with empty hallways and silent rooms. he reached his room number and inserted the key, twisting it until he heard a click, easily heard in the quiet area, and the wooden door opened. inside stood a miniature kitchen, complete with a table and chairs to make up a dining room across from it. another door stood which led into the bathroom and another door opposite leading to a closet. there was a small couch and a tv in the corner and even white curtains with a sliding door leading to a balcony, but none of this interested dan.

a bed was sat in the corner, pretty white sheets placed on it. dan threw his bag on the floor and climbed into the bed, not even bothering to turn off the lights. he was just so tired, he just wanted to sleep and escape this hell.

meanwhile, phil was shaking and he couldn't stop shouting at pj. he thought his voice would just give up and no more sound would come out, but he continues to bring loud noise to the quiet night, pj's green eyes slightly filled with terror, as phil has never yelled like this before.

pj rests his hand on phil's shoulder for a moment, before phil pushes him off, pj's body hitting the wall with a thud. "please leave," phil quietly says, giving up from all the screaming, his throat raw and burning. pj looks at him with sad eyes, then smirks, walking close to phil once again, leaning together to connect their lips, phil immediately pushing him off and wiping the taste of pj from his mouth. phil points to the door, not bothering to make a noise, pj finally giving up and walking out in defeat after ruining everything.

phil wants to chase after dan, wrap his arms around him and continuously apologize, planting kisses on his face, causing his cheeks to turn pink, but he decides he needs a bit of space and walks to his room, sulking.

the bed feels practically empty without dan's presence, his side cold from dan's missing body. he hugs his pillow, pretending it was dan so he could try and go to sleep, ready for the morning so he could just talk to dan already, but it's not the same. the pillow isn't warm like dan, and provides nothing for phil, but dan would have his arms wrapped around the pale boy, their legs tangled under the sheets.

phil eventually fell asleep, after hours of laying there, his eyes closed, the room dark, just wanting to escape this reality. he would open his eyes for a moment, staring at the clock to see how late it was, disappointed in himself for not being able to easily sleep as he normally would. he remembers when he and dan used to stay up all night, talking about random things that came up. he wishes dan were here for that, but dan is mad at him.

and he really hopes he can be forgiven.