Falling In The Deep Blue

~27~ Little Starfish

Trystan's P.o.v.

It was officially summer break now. A few weeks without College was exactly what I needed right now.

After my little date with Eleazar down at palmtree bay, where we had talked about how we would find Amias, I had gone home only to be confronted with a curious Keith, who tried to find out everything there was about Eleazar and me.

I had told him a perfect little story about how me had met at College after Lea had broken up with me and then started going out.

Luckily, he believed it. And he was great about it. It seemed like he was even more excited than when I got with Lea. Maybe it was because he knew that I was really in love this time.

It was another beautiful morning, the sun only blocked by a few tiny clouds.

Today, the plan was for me to find out Amias' full name and where he lived. Eleazar would go see Aquinnah and see if he could get more information from her. If we would find out everything we needed, Eleazar and I would go find Amias tomorrow.

With a cup of hot, delicious coffee next to me, I sat down at my desk and started my computer.

'Amias. Santa Monica, CA.' I typed into the search bar and waited.

4573 results. Great.

I clicked onto a link, which led me to a list of all Amias' living in the city, along with their adresses.

It was a total number of six people who all shared the same first name.

I wrote down all the names on a piece of paper and tried to find them on any kind of social media that I could think of.

Four Amias' were out, because their pictures told me that they were way too young to be the person that I was looking for.

The other two, I didn't find on social media. That was probably a good thing, because old people rarely have that.

Amias Shefford was living in Idaho ave and the other one, Amias Smith, lived in Marine Street, which wasn't too far from me.

Googling both names one more time, I found a picture of Amias Shefford. It was a picture from a newspaper article, where he was holding a fish in his arms. He looked like he was in his mid-30's.

It had to Amias Smith, then.

Marine Street, 34B, Santa Monica.

Eleazar's P.o.v.

"Why do you want to know all that, my boy?" Aquinnah asked, her long gray hair framing her face. Somehow, she looked older then usual and more tired. I couldn't blame her, after what had happened with Ethur.

I couldn't imagine what it must've felt like to be seperated from someone you love, forever. Being away from Trystan for one day, without knowing if I would ever see him again, had been worse enough. What would it be like if it had been over 40 years?

"I just want to know more about him. I'm curious of who he was. Maybe even if we have something in common."

Aquinnah nodded. "I understand."

She was silent for a few seconds, probably thinking about what she would tell me.

"He...he was the most considerate and gentle creature that I have ever met. He was caring and always put the needs of others before his. He worked as a gardener, that means he took care of land plants, and sometimes, we would just sit down with each other and talk about land and water plants."

The look on Aquinnah's face, when she talked about Amias, was full of love and, at the same time, pain.

I smiled. "He sounds like someone you would like."

Grandma turned to me. Her eyes were soaked with a thousand happy memories.

"We were made for each other."

A shiver ran down my spine.

"Eleazar..." she went on, swimming closer to me.

She took my hand.

"You are...you and him have so much in common. You even look a little bit like him. And I want you to know that...that if I'm not here anymore...that when I'm gone..."

"Grandma, what are you talking about?" I interrupted her, feeling a lump building in my throat.

"I'm sick, Eleazar. I won't have much time left." she said, gently pressing my hand.

I couldn't say a word. My body and mind were in shock. What was she talking about? She was healthy, she always had been. She could perfectly look after herself.

"I'm old, little starfish. Old and tired. I never had the life that I wanted and I'm tired of living the one that I was forced to live."

"What are you saying?" I asked, my voice not sounding like my own.

"I'm saying that I'm tired of fighting."

"Fighting what?"

"Fighting to stay alive. You can't know because I never told anyone, but I've been battling something for a long time now, and since I don't see a reason to keep fighting anymore, I might as well just...let go."

Speechless, I just stared at her. The mermaid that I always had admired for her strength, her resilience and power to keep going.

And now, she just wanted to give up? Just like that?

"I don't want you to be upset, my boy. I just want you to live your life and -I know I told you to be careful with taking big risks but - I take that back." 

Aquinnah closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep sip of water. She looked like she was struggling with something. Something, that no one else but her could even begin to understand.

Then she opened her eyes again, waves crashing in the oceans inside of them.

"You know, if you would ask me to do one thing differently, then I wouldn't chose not to fall in love with a human. I would chose to change that I wasn't brave enough to fight for it. Not brave enough to stand up to my own...my own family and everyone else that said that I was wrong. That's what I regret. So Eleazar, if what you feel is real, don't you dare let him go."

And with those words, my grandma turned around, and with one flip of her tail, disappeared in her cave.