A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔

Chapter Forty Six : The Boy, A Lover

"Gem, go back to your room please. Freshen up and change into clean clothes," I asserted, although the clothes she wore was clean enough. "There's lemon meringue cake in the fridge, you can eat my slice too."

"What is going on here?" she demanded instead, ignoring my words. "Are you and Jamal hiding something from me?"

Jamal snorted and I shook my head. "Nothing like that. You know how friends are, we have to catch up on. . . stuff." I offered the lamest excuse which she didn't buy. I knew she was going to ask 'what stuff?' so I added quickly, diverting the topic, "Go to your room Gem and rest. Jamie and I have to talk so can you leave us alone please?"

Gemma was about to protest, but Jamal said gently, "Listen to your sis Gemmie and aren't you hungry? I'll eat that cake if you don't eat it soon."

Gemma looked torn between stubbornly staying and obediently leaving. Finally, she walked out. I exhaled loudly.

"What stuff do you want to catch up on, friend?" Jamal asked tartly. "Is it about your poor, beautiful sister and me? Or is it about you?"

My forehead creased. "What do you mean?"

"Well Blondie, is it about your need to control everyone's lives? Making them dance according to your moves?"

'You don't know what I feel Joy . . .  You can't decide what I feel God damn it! . . .  I love you Joy . . .'

"Please don't say that Jamie . . . Not right now, I can't hear that." I was on the verge of sobbing. Did everyone around me think I was a control freak? A cancer bully? Perhaps I was. No, definitely I was. I was hurting people with my choices- my decisions.

Even though I knew that, I couldn't hear it from another person. I really couldn't. 

"No, you are the one who wanted to talk. We'll talk then," Jamal declared, his eyes narrowing to slits. "You wanted to talk about how I spend so much time with Gemma? How I call her all sorts of nicknames? How I hold and kiss her?"

My head had already started to spin. I felt tired. Extremely tired. "I don't want to talk about it right now. I-I can't . . . I'm sorry . . . I'm really  exhausted . . . "

"You think I'm messing with your sister's heart, don't you? You think I don't care about her? You think I don't love her?" he spat out, disgusted by me as I squinted at him. Tears had blurred my vision. For the first time in our years of friendship, I noticed that Jamal was serious. Dead serious. "Guess what Blondie, I do care about her. I do love her more than she's fascinated by the fun dude in me. So I will talk to her, tease her, hold her and kiss her because she loves it too. I won't stop only because you can't see us being happy and normal together. Only because you can't see your sis be and feel normal."

"That's not true." I sniffed loudly, but it was difficult to breathe. My nose was blocked. "I-I want her to be happy."

"Not normal---"

"But she isn't normal, she's not like us---"

"She likes to feel normal! She isn't normal yo, but she's a fifteen year old grown ass girl! She likes to be treated like that!" Jamal yelled, his feet glued to the spot in front of me. He was towering over my sitting frame and I could feel drops of his spit hitting my face. "How do I know this your ass might think? Because I'm the one loving her and spending time with her now. I'm the one talking to her, not you. You abandoned her. You left her alone because you thought she's getting attached to you!"

Tears weren't coming anymore. I was drained of energy and dehydrated. I felt dehydrated- weak and helpless.

Helpless because he was right.

"I beg you to stop," I whispered, untidily wiping the thick snot settled below my nose.

He pointed his index finger at me, the tip of it digging agonizingly at the centre of my forehead. "You left your sister all by herself because of what you thought was right for her. Your dumbass thought that she should stay away from you. Why? Since she will get attached to you and you're gonna die? Want a surprise? SHE WAS ALREADY ATTACHED TO YOU!"

His hand dropped and I winced at the lingering pain on my forehead. It made my head throb ten times more. Worse, I felt nauseous.

"Do you know how much suffering you caused her? She was confused and upset when you kept pushing her away. And after that when I'm the only one who's still with her, you want to take that away too? You want her to be truly alone with no one to turn to? Is that the way she should learn to be independent?" Each of his question was a direct stab to my heart.

I tucked my feet under my bottom and leaned a little forward on the pillow. I needed some support. Both physically and mentally.

"Are you even listening to me? Or is your ass suddenly dying again?" he continued spitefully as I tried to breathe through my mouth. It was like my nose was non-existent. I wanted my ears to be non-existent too. I didn't want to listen to him or anyone anymore. I couldn't.

"I had much of your bullshit till now, so don't ever tell me to stay away from Gemma," he finished, finally sighing of contentment after having said everything he had bottled up till now. He must have felt lighter than a feather right now. I didn't blame him, he deserved to feel that way. I deserved to hear all he had said even when I didn't like it.

My eyelids were almost drooping by now. I smiled faintly, much to his and my own astonishment. "I'm sorry."

Those two words soared in the air between us before gradually dissipating.

Jamal started to show the first signs of guilt, but he concealed it by whirling  around in his typical fashion and storming out of the house.

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A/N :

Phew. I'm tired after writing this chapter. I know you guys probably hate Jamal considering the way he's behaving the past few chapters and this one especially- but I haven't made him to be liked. I have made him to be interesting and hopefully he is lol. Anyway, vote, comment and share it you like this story xx