Being Different (D.Winchester)

1.30 Dreamworld

At the restaurant.

I was sitting between Sam and Dean which made me feel weird. Mary was sitting next to Dean and Jessica was sitting between Sam and Mary.

The waiter brought us our food.

I smiled "Looks awsome"

Sam raised his glass "to mom. Happy Birthday"

We all raised our glasses.

I smiled "happy birthday"

Mary blushed smiling "thank you"

Dean "cheers"

We clinked glasses.

I felt a hand on my thigh and looked over to Dean.

Dean leaned in and whispered into my ear "i was really worried about you last night. You okay?"

I nodded and whispered "i'm good"

He smiled "good, how about we go after eating after this. "

I whispered smirking "Maybe McDonalds?"

Dean chuckled softly "god, i love you"

I froze . 

he kissed my cheek and put his attention back to the others.

He did not just say that. Oh my god.

Suddenly Sam spoke up next to me "all right, Jess and i actually have another surprise for Mom's birthday. "

He looked at Jess nervous "you wanna tell them?"

Jess "they're your family"

Sam smiled "all right"

Mary asked confused  "what? tell me what?"

Jessica showed Mary a ring. A pretty awesome ring.

Mary laughed happily "oh my god!"

My jaw dropped.

Mary stood up "that's wonderful. Congrats. "

Jessica and Sam stood up to hug Mary.

Jessica smiled  "thank you"

I stood up and hugged Jessica "congrats"

She smiled "thanks"

Then i hugged Sam "congrats, Sammy"

Sam hugged back "thank you"

Suddenly there was that pull inside of me. 

I let go of Sam and put a hand on my chest.

Dean rushed to me "are you okay?"

He looked at Sam, pissed off "what did you do?"

Sam shook his head, shocked "Nothing"

there was this little pain inside of me but it was gone as fast as it came.

At Mary's.

We all walked inside.

Mary looked at us "well, i had a lovely birthday. Thank you"

i smiled "night"

Dean "night mom"

The she walked upstairs.

Sam "well, i'm beat"

he looked at Jessica "ready to turn in?"

Jess "sure?"

Sam nodded "all right, night, guys"

Dean looked at me "We should head home too"

I nodded.

at home.

I saw Dean sitting on the sofa. I walked to him and sat down on his lap.

Dean put his arms around me and leaned his chin on my shoulder.

He kissed my shoulder "you scared me today"

I shook my head "wasn't my intention"

Then I grabbed the beer from his hand and took a long sip of it.

I smiled "my favorite"

Dean "i may not often show it but i know you better than you think"

I smiled "maybe you do"

Then i sighed "I'm sorry about you and your brother"

Dean "what are you sorry about?"

Me "that you and him are divided because of me"

Dean shook his head "you are my girl, mine. And if another man thinks he's chances on you then of course i'm gonna go mad"

I raised an eyebrow at him "You beat the crap outta him, didn't you?"

Dean shrugged  "black eye, broken nose-the usual"

I sighed "Dean"

Dean "come on, doll"

I looked at him "you know, i feel like i've been given a second chance and i don't wanna waste it"

Dean asked confused "are you ok-"

I kissed him and put a hand on his chest.

Dean broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine.

Me "i love you"

Dean smiled "well, i don't know what's gotten into you but i love it"

Then he kissed me again and i kissed back. He put the beer down on the ground and pushed me into the sofa and kissed me again. I kissed back. I have no idea what i'm doing but i like it. and i should not like it but i do.

--

I felt Dean pulling me closer to his chest and snuggling his head in the crock of my neck. He sighed and kissed my neck. I shivered a little, that was a very sensetive spot on my neck. Suddenly there was that pain in my chest again, it was bareable but okay.

I sighed and drove a hand down my chest.

I'm supposed to feel happiness but i'm also feeling this emptiness like the happiness is not real but...i don't know. I bet the real Sam and Dean a worried  about me, maybe they called Bobby he yelled at them for loosing me. A funny thought actually. But why is it on me to save people? I don't want to be some kind of hero. What the here and now? Does my mom not get to live? i don't even know if my mom's still alive in the real world. Does Mary deserve to die? Does Sam not get to be happy with the girl he loves? do i not get to be happy with Dean? I mean, i know it's Dean i'm lying next to , it's Dean i just had amazing sex, but do i not get to be happy? Why do we have to sacrifice everything?

I shook my head and tried to hear Dean's soft snores. I crawled out from underneath him when i heard him being completely asleep. I stood up and put some clothes on and grabbed the keys out of Dean's pants.

I looked back at Dean and sighed "I'm gonna hate myself for this"