The Coño Boy 3: Love What You Will

Chapter Ninety-Nine: Tell Me On A Sunday, Please.

Sean: Here.

I hand Jake a cornetto cone.

Jake: Special na pala yung Cornetto.

Sean: Umuwi na yung sorbetero sa plaza, huwag kang choosy. What time is it na oh, 7-11 na lang ang bukas.

It's actually, 11:47 pm. Jake and I had to step out of the ancestral house after dinner kanina.

*Akala niyo ba tapos na ang mga oldies kanina? Hindi pa!*

Jake's Dad, Tio Ramon, and his Mom, Tita Agnes, and Kuya Mack came to the ancestral house after dinner this evening. May pag-uusapan pa daw sila. I have a gut feeling my Dad was behind that. We excused ourselves and decided to walk around town. I sensed na a very heavy talking-down-to was due soon and I don't wanna deal with the adult interpretation of the world tonight.

We spent some time at the garden of the other Ordoveza House; the one where Lola Idang lives. Manang Julia was nice enough to give us tea while sitting under the Talisay tree. After that, we even got to chat with Tita Cora as we saw her walking, doing her usual evening walk checking if the plaza was ship shape. We decided to walk the old processional route just for the heck of it and by the time na nag-sawa na kami sa kaka-lakad, we decided to just sit by the plaza and people watch.

The lights are out na sa side ng Mataas-na-Bahay where the sala mayor is located and most of the windows have been slid shut. Tio Ramon's car isn't parked na there sa may baba so that means He, Tita Agnes, and Kuya Mack may have left when Jake and I weren't looking.

Jake: Baka mamaya ang pait nito.

Says Jake as he peels of the cover of the ubiquitous ice-cream cone treat.

Sean: Huh? Ube-macapuno flavor, mapait?

He takes his first bite out of the beaten swirl of ube-macapuno ice cream on top of the cone.

Jake: Nauubos na yung oras ng sabado, kapag umakyat ka na sa mataas-na-bahay, ibig ba sabihin noon, magka-kanya-kanya na tayo?

Sean: Ikaw lang ang ganyan ang interpretation, Jake.

I lick on my ice cream.

Jake: Bakit kasi hindi na lang ako—

Sean: Jake naman, kanina pa tayo pabalik-balik sa bakit hindi na lang kasi this or sana ganito na lang ang nangyari and these endless what ifs—

Jake: Ang bagal ko kasi.

Sean: I don't think that's it, Jake.

Jake: O baka ang malas ko lang talaga.

Sean: Ano ba, Jake? Can you stop thinking that way?

Jake: Alam mo, Se... Okay lang sana sa 'kin 'tong sitwasyon na ito, kung parejas kaming uuwi ni Tisoy na talunan.

Sean: Ayan ka na naman sa mga words na "malas" or "talo"—

Jake: Teka lang, Se. Kanina ko pa gusto sabihin 'to sa 'yo. Kasi ang suwerte talaga ng tang-inang Tisoy na 'yan. Kasi ako, kailangan kong mag-give way kasi alam naman natin pareho na may pinili ka na. Hindi naman ako nagkulang na sabihin sa 'yo—

Sean: Again, Jake? Seriously?

*Don't force me to shove this ice cream cone up your nose kung hindi ka titigil.*

Jake: Dapat pala hindi mo na lang ginawa 'yon kanina, Se.

*Another in Jake's List of Whatever Tonight. Hindi talaga matatapos ito if he keeps going on like this.*