The Coño Boy 3: Love What You Will

Chapter Seventy-Seven: Timpla of the Morning

I left Jake on the bed, went to the bathroom to wash my face, and dumerecho ako sa oratorio where the image Santa Martha was waiting to be taken down. I needed to attach the silver pitcher to her hands, the keys on her belt, and check if na-sulsi ba ng tama yung dress ng poon. As a kid, I have seen this as some elaborate ritual na parang royal lady at court na bini-bihisan ang poon.

My Mom and her cousins and these old ladies would gather round whichever image of the saint was being taken out for procession making sure that every tiny detail is up to my abuela's standards. Back in the day, meron pang old ladies that would pray the rosary while bini-bihisan si Santa Martha. I can't recall when that practice ended. But it could be in the last ten years lang when umu-upa na sila ng tao to dress-up the image.

This silver pitcher is a tricky thing. I remember the time when I was younger and nahulog yung silver pitcher ni Santa Martha habang nasa procession, my Lola Doray had a fit. That was the last time that person was hired to dress her up. We usually secure the pitcher onto the processional image's hands using thin floral wire. But as the image is in transit, the floral wire ended up damaging paint of her hands.

Tito Vic would often scream instructions like, "Hoy ingatan niyo yan at baka ma-gasgasan ang encarna," which refers to the paint on the face and hands of the religious image —from the Spanish 'encarnaciones' that sums up the process of bringing religious images to life by rendering the flesh to be as realistic as possible. And that includes the blush, the impression of veins, tears, and even drops of blood.

*Oo na, nag-research talaga ako. It may not be clear to some, but I do find delight in being an insufferable know-it-all sometimes.*

I think it was about five years ago, when the hands of Santa Martha were retouched by this guy from the town of Paete. My Lola Doray would not part with the hands because she claims the hands have never left this town since the image arrived more than a hundred years ago. Ergo, the painter had to come to the house more than one time and retouch them in front of my grandmother.

That's the thing with the oldies and their santos, they're very cautious to the point that she trusts very few people in handling them. My Mom saw some coated floral wire sa isang crafts store abroad so that's what we're using now or that really thin nylon fishing line.

*And yes, I washed my hands before touching the image. Alam niyo naman kung saan gumapang iyon kanina.*

Yung smell ng beef tapa as it's being fried seems to have followed me as I do a final check on the poon. Medyo brave ang color choice ng Lola Doray this year. She's chosen the lilac pink tunic and matched it with blue-ish cape of a lighter shade na looks like it's newly acquired.

*Oo nga pala! The jewels, muntik ko na malimutan.*

_ _ _

I get to the sala mayor to find all three maids busy cleaning. Looks like may na-pagalitan nang ma-aga because Myrna, Cathy, and Irene are wiping, scrubbing, and sweeping like crazy.

Me: Good morning!

Irene, the maid: Good morning din po.

*Well, at least one of them eh naka-catch up sa pag-greet ng good morning.*

Me: Ah, girls... Huwag kayong maka-limot na ma-unang bumati ng good morning or good afternoon. Huwag niyong hayaan na sina Mommy or Auntie Agatha ang ma-unang mag-greet sa inyo, ha. Sa akin, okay lang. But sila Mama at Auntie, napaka-particular nila sa ganyan. Kilala niyo naman ang ugali ni Lola di ba?

*Lakas maka-adulting ng pagbigay ng instructions sa mga house staff ha.*

Myrna: Opo.

Me: So kung sa electric fan number 2 lang sa pagiging particular ang abuela, sina Mama at Auntie number 3 or maybe .3 and a half.