The Last Stop

Part 3

I pulled the old shawl closer to my body. It was strangely too cold for an October night or maybe it was just the coldness I was feeling within myself. I couldn't quite put a finger on the more probable option.

Since childhood I had always loved traveling by trains. Watching the cities,villages, people and cattle go back while we moved forward was always fascinating to me. I always wondered why it was like that? Why didn't the houses and the tress move when I walked? I was naíve then. But these were fond memories, memories of my childhood, memories of a happy family when I was unaware of anything that happened outside the four walls of our house. I didn't know how cruel the outside world could be, how cruel my own family could be. 

My stomach grumbled lightly. I remembered that I hadn't eaten a single morsel after I had my breakfast earlier today. I didn't have enough cash to buy something from the train and I doubted if there would be any ATM machine at the upcoming stations. I thought it would be better to sleep than to suffer from the gnawing in my stomach that seemed to increase in intensity by every passing minute. I felt extremely guilty for leaving my baby hungry but I had no choice.

The train was moving smoothly. We were passing a village . I could see an occasional flicker of yellow street lights arranged all over the village in no particular order. I leaned over the window and closed my eyes. As I did so, I heard some street dogs barking . Even with my eyes closed, I could visualise them running with the train. A small smile crept on my face as I remembered , Kalu, the only dog we ever owned. The only animal I ever loved with all my heart. 

My father had brought him from a friend of his. He was a black Labrador retriever, the most understanding dog I ever saw in my life. He was way beyond his age. One thing he did do that suited his age was playing with me. But as he grew old, the playing sessions became less frequent. He died of a stomach infection when I was sixteen. There was no one in our whole family who cried more than me that day and for more days to come. 

Now, I felt a similar sense of loss. Loss of my family, the only people I could call my own. I couldn't come to blame them entirely for what they did. They stuck to the principles they were brought up with and I stuck to mine. My mother always said that becoming a mother was the best feeling a woman could have. She always taught me that hurting a defenseless creature was a sin that not even prayers could overcome.

"Would you like to have some?", I opened my eyes slowly and looked at the half-open packet of chips clutched in an outstretched hand in front of me. 

"Thank you very much for the offer but no I don't eat chips.", I declined politely. The girl simply shrugged and withdrew the packet. My sleeping attempt having been proved futile, I thought of concentrating on something else. Maybe a conversation could help?

"Where are you going?"

"Me? Oh, I'm going to Jaipur. What about you?", I could hardly make out her words as she spoke in the midst of eating.

"I'm going to Jaipur too."

" You have family there?"

"No. Why?"

"I just guessed because I noticed you don't have any luggage or extra clothes."

I nodded slightly.

"So is it some business or work thingy?", She asked again, her voice clear now, having finished the packet of chips. 

"Uh,no. It's nothing like that. I'm going to set myself up there." , At least that was what I had planned until now. How exactly would I be doing that, I had no idea."What about you? I reckon you're a college student?", I tried steering the topic.

"Yeah.",she chirped excitedly,"First year, B.Tech. I just made a short trip to home because I was missing my family so much."

This reminded me of my first visit to my home after my admission in a college. I had been excited just like her. I thought going back home was the best thing. Now however, I had no home to go back to. I didn't regret my decision, not one bit. I only regretted the fact that, had my parents supported me, I would not have been here.