Princely [MxM]

Alabaster You Fuck, Ditch Cassius

I sighed and buried my head in the pillows, they smelled like Lux. It was comforting to feel his scent wash over me and I hated it. Cassius was my mate. He always would be. But the bond... it was strong, how long could I resist it?

A hand swept over my back and I jolted in surprise.

"Shh, it's just me," Lux. I felt my muscles relax in his presence. I sat up and turned in the direction if his voice.

"Lux, I have to go back," I murmured, "I have to-"

The vampire pressed his hand over my mouth and stopped some from continuing.

"I told you I would not discuss that subject," his tone was calm and soothing, if he was angry, he didn't show it. "Do not speak of him."

I wrapped my arms protectively around my body and gave a slow nod. After a moment, he leaned over me, I could feel the weight on either side of my thighs where his hands were. His hot breath hovered over my shoulder.

I almost jumped in surprise when he rested his face in my neck, inhaling my scent. Impulsively, I relaxed my body into his and felt my fingers itch to touch him. But I had to resist.

I had to.

For Cassius.

"I looked for you for so long," he murmured and I could hear the raw emotion in his voice. He sounded almost heartbroken. I felt immediately terrible. It was all my fault. "I was so lost."

Lux pressed his chest to mine as I laid my back on the mattress. His body was wedged between my legs. It felt wrong to hold him like this. But I was compelled to comfort him. It was so hard.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whimpered and wrapped my arms around his torso, "I didn't know."

"If only I'd found you sooner," he lamented like it was his fault and I felt anger boil inside of me. If it weren't for me. If I wasn't so stupid he wouldn't feel like this.

I wish I had never met either of them.

I wish things could go back to how they were. With Jamie and Impulse. All I wanted was to be happy. It was all I ever wanted.

We sat in the darkness. Wrapped around each other. I felt his hot breath covering my neck and it warmed my entire body. My soul.

"Lux?" I called and pet his hair gently. Maybe I could gain his trust. I immediately dismissed the thought. I wouldn't betray him. I would help him realize that I was meant to be with Cassius. He didn't deserve anymore pain.

"Mm?" He hummed and it sent vibrations throughout my whole body.

"I'm sorry," it was all I could say to him because I was so sorry. I had taken his mate away.

"Then don't leave," he murmured, the words were muffled but sincere. It tore me to pieces.

I held my breath for a moment.

"Okay," it hurt knowing that I had lied. But I knew it was the right answer when he let out something like a purr of satisfaction. My heart beat faster than normal, I could feel the adrenaline pumping in my veins. It was so surreal to be holding him like this.

Lux brushed his fingers over my jugular.

"Are you scared?" He asked, his voice was back to how it had been. Completely emotionless. "Of me?"

"No, I'm just..." I gulped and held him tighter, "I'm confused. And worried."

"I understand, but I can't let you go," his grip tightened on my body, "not again."

We were in silence again. The only sound was my quickly beating heart and our breathing.

"You can see your family when the war is over, if you'd like," he finally murmured and I felt my blood run cold. Lux was not going to let me off the hook easily. The war had been alive for centuries. Who knew how long it would last?

"Thank you, Lux," I choked out anyways and I knew he liked that I had used his name. It was subtle. In the way his breath caught ever so slightly, and how he hugged me just a little bit closer. I felt his hand slide down my thigh and inhaled sharply.

"I won't touch you if you don't want me to," he sighed and pressed his thumb down softly.

"I-I'm sorry, I just can't right now, I'm sorry," sooner or later, I would need energy anyways. And he wasn't going to let anyone else touch me. But how could I betray Cassius like that?

"That's alright," Lux breathed and kissed my neck in the place where my collar bone dipped. "Are you tired?"

I opened my mouth to say no, but I couldn't fight the wave of exhaustion that washed over me with his words.

"Kind of," I muttered and blinked slowly.

"You can sleep, no one will disturb you," Lux replied, he sounded tired himself.

"Okay," I sighed and twisted my fingers in his dark hair, letting sleep wash over me in his arms.

How long could I resist this?

MY BABY LUX, I'M SO SORRY.

July 2018