HTTYD: You Don't Know the Meaning of "Nice"? (Hiccstrid)

Chapter 54

Hiccup's P.O.V.

My eyes opened to be met with a hospital room, a steady beeping sounding in my ears. Remembering what happened, I looked around the room before my heart started to pick up speed. I clicked the button on my bed side remote that would call a nurse. "What can I do to make you more comfortable, Mr. Haddock?" a nurse asked as she walked in with a kind smile.

"You can get my girlfriend in here. She came right?" I ask.

"She did, Mr. Haddock, but...," she trailed off.

"But what? Is she okay?" the beeping of the heart monitor picked up speed.

"Yes, sir, she's perfectly fine. But she says she's scared to see you," she told me. "I want you to answer me honestly. Do you abuse her?" 

"Never," I say firmly, "Why is she scared?"

"She feels like you're angry with her for not dropping the knife. She's with a therapist now, but as soon as the session's done, I will try to get her to see you," she tells me.

"She's with a therapist?" I repeat.

"We understand that she has been seeing someone, and that their next appointment was tomorrow. We thought it best if they met today," she explains.

"Okay," I sigh.

"Can I get you anything?" she asks.

"No. I'll be fine," I tell her and she nods before leaving. I looked at my legs and paused as I saw how the blanket flattened mid way down my left leg, while my right one continued. I lifted the blanket to see that my foot was gone. After a while, the door to my room opened and Astrid slowly walked in, staring at me in terror. "Get over here," I order, beckoning her toward me with two fingers. She froze.

"Hiccup, I-" I cut her off.

"Astrid. Get. Over here," I repeat slower. She drew in a shaky breath before inching toward me. "Faster," I say and she pauses before marching forward with squared shoulders. Beads of sweat were sliding down her forehead and face and her eyes were unfocused as her body quivered.

"H-Hiccup-" I cut her off.

"Shut up," I order firmly before taking her head in my hands and pressing my lips to hers. She went rigid as I ran my fingers through her hair. I then pulled back and looked into her oceanic eyes. "You need to stop talking. You need to stop thinking. I don't want you thinking about the future, I don't want you talking about the past. Got it?" I ask but she only blinks. "I was able to take the pain from you this time, but next time, it might be too strong for me to block you from it," I tell her. She lowered her gaze in fearful shame. 

"Hey, Astrid," I say, softer, "Don't show that fear. I'm not mad at you, it's not your fault that you're feeling overwhelmed. If anything, it's my fault. I made you relive those times when you had a daughter to give away and then I gave you a knife; I set you up for failure. I'm sorry I did it, but I didn't think about why you carved. This is my punishment, not yours. So I don't want you feeling guilty, okay?"

"You don't deserve punishment, though," she cried, tears bursting from her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey, Astrid," I whispered before gently kissing her tears away, "If I didn't deserve it, it wouldn't have happened."

"I'm sorry! I should have dropped the knife, I should have did as you told me!" she cried. "Please don't hurt me," her voice was barely audible. My blood ran cold. Did I do something to make her think I would hurt her?

"Hey," I lowered my head to catch her eye, "I'm not your dad. I'm not your dad, I'm not one of your Outcast City friends, I'm not one of your past boyfriends. I am your present boyfriend, and I promise, I will never hurt you."

"I'm sorry, Hiccup," she sobbed breathlessly, "I just can't believe that. I want to, but I can't."

"Yes you can. You just don't know how," I tell her softly, brushing her bangs behind her ear. I then tried to take her hand, but she shook her head slowly as she pulled them out of my reach, backing up.

"D-don-don't touch me," she stuttered. "I just ruin everything. I dug up Harry's network, I fought Criss's boyfriend, I broke Leo's arm, now this," she shuttered, seeming to leave stuff out.

"Astrid-" she didn't let me continue.

"I must have screwed up a lot when my parents had me! Why else would they get rid of me?!" she was starting to get hysterical. I clicked the button on the remote and a nurse came in before looking at the panicking Astrid in shock.

"Can you give her a sedative or something?" I ask and she quickly went to get the shot ready. "Astrid!" I shout, getting her attention. 

"Don't you mean Slut? B****? Screw up? ****face?" she asked, breathing heavily.

"Astrid-"

"Don't call me that! It means Divine Beauty! Don't call me that!" she shouted.

"Just stay still, alright?" I was trying to sound soothing but she seemed to pick up on the worry in my voice because she got riled up again. "Astrid, this nice lady is going to help you calm down, okay?" I say as the nurse slowly walked toward her.

"No, she's not," Astrid laughed madly, "Nothing can help me calm down. I can't calm down!" At the shouting, a doctor came into the room and looked at the nurse in confusion.

"What's going on in here?" he asked.

"I need some help restraining her," she said. I shielded my eyes, unable to watch as the doctor trapped Astrid's arms to her sides and the nurse ignored her screams to put the shot in her arm. I just couldn't watch and I hated to listen. 

"Do we need to call experts?" the doctor asks me.

"No, no, please don't," I beg him, "She's pregnant, has a bad past, a bullet in her shoulder, and last night she almost committed suicide but she doesn't need to go to an asylum. She was just having a panic attack, that's it. I can explain this all in better detail later, but right now, please leave her in here." He hesitated before setting Astrid in a chair.

"She might not need an asylum, but she does need professional help," the nurse tells me.

"I know, I know, she's seeing a therapist. But you have to understand, so much has happened to her in such a small amount of time, she hasn't had the chance to process everything one by one. Like I said: she's pregnant, and she's been through this before, had to give her child away, and feels like she can't do it again. This is all a matter of ginormous stress," I explain desperately. before the doctor moved to the hall. The nurse put a shot in my arm and I started getting kind of drowsy. "What did you give me?" I ask.

"Morphine," she answers. "You seem a little shaken, it's just to help you calm down."

"Okay," I sigh as the doctor came back.

"Mr. Haddock, we'd like to move Ms. Hofferson to a more secure room, where she can be under surveillance until we can see that she's more stable," he tells me.

"I don't know. Will I still be able to see her?" I ask.

"As long as someone is there, I think it'll be fine," he says.

"You won't drug her, will you?" I ask.

"Not unless you think she needs it," he says.

"Okay, but I wanna stay with her in her room until she wakes up..."