The fake girlfriend deal. ||BEING HEAVILY EDITED||

37~ Beach Love. (edited!!)

Yuna -

               "I don't ever want to leave this place!" I exclaim with delight as Bianca and I get massages, my back desperately needed this. This morning Riven rushed us out of the hotel room and had us go for face masks and manicures, It felt nice to be pampered- especially after all of work and the plans we'd made for me to shift under bosses.

    "Me either- Florida is nice but... This place is heaven."  Bianca groaned as the man massaging her began working out the tension in her shoulders.

   These past few months have flown by in a way but looking back- I truly realize how much has changed. Riven and his family were closer. They were by no means functioning like your picture-perfect suburban family- I don't think they ever will, the damage has been done- but Riven and I no longer dread having dinner with his parents and his brother is at least making an attempt to be in Riven's life again.

    My parents and I? Well... We talk at least once a week over email or phone, Once again- we're not 100%, but it's worlds better than when I first arrived at college. Riven and I have spent countless nights awake, sitting up at 3 am and talking... He still has trust issues and fears he'll lose us all again- and often has nightmares about us, and about his job. 

  He's had more nightmares about the car accident, especially during the periods of his job when he's looking for a suspect, he's always on edge that he'll get caught in a car chase and something will go wrong again. I don't know how to make that better, or if I even can. It's not like I can promise nothing bad will happen. I know all too well that life can throw anything at you, there's no "stopping bad things from occurring". 

  Riven is a bit more protective- not controlling, he never stops me from doing whatever I want, and I love that.... But he worries more. I think that's because he now knows what evil lies out there in the world. I can't even count how many times he wakes us both up from shaking due to his nightmares. 

  Through it all though, he's never gotten drunk. Sure, at social events he'll have a beer if he's not driving, but he hasn't gotten drunk a single time. Hasn't smoked, and his temper has been reduced tremendously. He still visits rage rooms often, but he always comes home and cuddles me on the couch. He attacks me with hugs and kisses and buries his face into my neck, and I play with the small curls on his head. Sometimes he'll talk about what went wrong that day, or what's on his mind. Other times he won't utter a word about it, but I don't push, and he never passes up an opportunity to make me feel loved and needed.

 He's changed- for the better. I've changed too, I'm more aware, more empathetic, understanding. These last few months were a lot of work, but it's been so worth it.  I let myself have opinions and boundaries, I don't apologize twenty-four seven. It's freeing. 

"How's Riven handling things? With work?"  Bianca asks once our massages are over, walking to the nail salon. This time with her had been wonderful. Diamond and I had slowly grown apart, not due to a fight or anything, just growing up. We had more support and no longer had to rely on each other. She moved to England with Alex and was working as a clothing designer. 

         Shrugging, I feel a weight lower onto my chest. "It's hurt him a lot. He had to interview victims, which are 80% children because the company is working on a trafficking ring, and I've noticed he's more tense when he's in public with me or Madison." 

      "Maybe with time he'll cope better." She held open the door to the nail salon and we went to pick out the nail polish. "I know a lot of those guys end up being alcoholics-"

  "I know." I pick at my cuticle. That had been one of my biggest fears. Especially seeing as Riven already struggled with addiction. Just because he was clean doesn't mean he doesn't struggle now. He hasn't given me extra reason to worry, but that doesn't mean the fear isn't there.