cute

• twenty-six •

The apartment was never usually loud. The TV made the most noise and that was when it was actually turned on, but it seemed particularly silent today. As Jimin opened the front door and stepped inside, it felt almost like the apartment was empty. He dropped his keys into the little bowl on the kitchen counter and looked into the living room where Yoongi was sitting on the couch, wrapped up in blankets with his eyes focused on his laptop screen. Earbuds were in his ears and his fingers were typing away on the keys.

The pair were yet to talk about what had happened at Namjoon and Jin's house yesterday. Jimin didn't remember everything, just the parts where he was in Yoongi's lap, then they were in the bathroom and he was talking about being allergic to something. He wanted to talk about it, clear up anything his stupid self may have said while in little space but Yoongi had quite obviously been avoiding that conversation. The man was quick to change the topic or make up an excuse to leave the room.

Jimin had tried four times now and he was yet to get anything from Yoongi. At this point the boy was beginning to worry he had said he hated Yoongi or something – why else would the man avoid him?

With a deep sigh, Jimin walked into the living room and sat on the coffee table. His presence caught the attention of Yoongi who looked away from his laptop screen for only a second before returning to his writing.

Jimin reached forward and pulled an earbud out of Yoongi's ear.

"Can we talk?"

The man pulled out his second earbud, "how was soccer?"

"Yoongi I'm serious," Jimin crossed his arms over his chest and sat up a little straighter.

Yoongi closed his laptop and pushed himself up on the couch, "talk about what?"

"Let's start with why you're avoiding me," the younger boy crossed his legs on the coffee table, gesturing for the second boy to start talking.

"I'm not."

If Jimin were that type of person, he might have hit Yoongi with a pillow, "I'm not an idiot. Don't treat me like one."

Guilt struck within Yoongi. He didn't want to make Jimin feel bad, especially not like an idiot. It was just that he didn't want to . . . didn't want to end up looking like an idiot himself. He had just come to his own conclusions based on what little Jimin had said yesterday. What if he was wrong? How stupid would he look? How creepy would he seem?

And even if he did turn out to be right, he wasn't sure he could handle that. One could say Yoongi had commitment issues. He didn't like the thought of getting himself stuck with someone he'd come to hate in the future. He'd watched relationships fall apart – his parents were a prime example – and the truth was that he was absolutely terrified of that happening. Terrified of feeling trapped with someone, terrified that they would make him hate himself as much as he would end up hating them.

A real relationship was completely out of the question for Yoongi. That was why he satisfied his cravings with random guys, although, lately he'd just been relying on himself for that.

"I'm just trying to focus on my writing," Yoongi once again lied, really not wanting to be on the topic.

Jimin frowned at the answer, "seriously? You expect me to believe that?"

"Fine Jimin!" Yoongi sighed and threw his hands up into the air, adjusting himself on the couch so he directly faced the boy, "I just wanted some space from you."

". . . Eff you."

Jimin stood up from the coffee table and began to walk away when Yoongi quickly reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his place. The younger boy tugged his hand out of Yoongi's grip and turned to face the man who had now stood up from the couch.

"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right," Yoongi ran his fingers through his hair, "Jimin . . . what do you think of me?"

The younger boy crossed his arms and shot the man a hard glare, "I think you're hot and cold and pretty darn exhausting."

"Hot and cold?" Yoongi repeated.

"Yeah. One minute you're calling me perfect and the next you're saying it's a joke. How am I supposed to keep up with that, hmm?" Jimin's tone was beginning to get snappy even though he was trying his best to keep his cool. This push and pull thing of Yoongi's was getting tiring, and even when Jimin had tried to address it, he'd been pushed away. It was always the same damn thing.

Yoongi was aware of what he was doing the whole time, but he wasn't really aware of the impact. He'd say a compliment but quickly go back on it to make sure it wasn't interpreted in the wrong way because he was afraid of the exact thing that was happening right now.

"What do you think of me Yoongi?"

The older man wasn't expecting the question. He wasn't expecting this entire thing really. He had just been hoping they could both forget about it move on with their lives but that quite clearly wasn't going to happen.

"I . . . I think . . ." Yoongi didn't know what to say because all the answers running through his head weren't things he wanted to admit. 'You are actually pretty perfect', 'you've got the most adorable personality'. How can he say that out loud?

Looking up and seeing Jimin's glossy eyes, Yoongi realised he had really hurt the boy. But . . . he just couldn't bring himself to say the right thing because he just wasn't . . . he wasn't ready.

"I like you," Yoongi shrugged, "you're my favourite roommate."

"I'm your only roommate," Jimin was trying so desperately to hold himself back from crying because this seemed like such a stupid thing to cry about.

"Jimin-"

"Don't worry about it," Jimin turned around, "it was stupid to bring up anyways."

And with that, the boy disappeared down the hallway and into his bedroom.

Yoongi fell back onto the couch, running hisfingers through his hair as he stared at the blank television. He'd really messedthings up now.