Sobriety

T H I R T E E N

chapter thirteen: the new experience

Malayah listened to Keyshawn's steady breath in her ear. She couldn't sleep. Her brain wouldn't let her.

She slowly lifted Keyshawn's heavy arm off of her body, as she slid off of the bed. She froze as he stirred in his sleep.

She let out a deep breath when he settled again.

Malayah put her shoes back on and grabbed her purse.

She searched through her purse for her phone. She had laid there with Keyshawn for almost two hours and now it was 3am

As she left Keyshawn's dorm, she grabbed a water bottle hoping to completely sober up.

The alcohol she had drunken earlier was almost completely out of her system, but now her problems were making themselves known again.

By Cameron cheating on her, it made her feel completely worthless.

Not only did that make her feel completely worthless, but Amelia made her feel worthless too.

When Amelia spat on her, it made her feel like trash. Malayah felt like she was the lowest of the low.

What Cameron said earlier, really hurt her.

Just because I fucked you a couple of times doesn't mean you can punch my girlfriend.

That's all she was to Cameron — a good fuck.

She knows what it feels like to be worthless. She's dealt with it for all of her life. Not only in school, but also at home.

She always felt she was the lesser of her two siblings.

They always came before her. In her dad's eyes, Malayah was difficult and stubborn.

When it was just Khadijah and Malayah in the family, Malayah always acted out to get her dad's attention. But when Micah was born, she gave up.

Those issues led to Malayah feeling like she would never be good enough for anyone. And now, Cameron and Amelia confirmed it.

When she met Cameron two years ago, she was a stressed and depressed sixteen year old. And now, she felt the same exact way.

She knew there was one thing that could help.

It could actually calm her down, but it could also get her into a lot of trouble.

She scrolled through her phone and found the one contact that she never thought she would be calling.

"Wassup, Malayah?" Ricky Myers asked.

Ricky Myers was the chillest dude ever. He graduated with Malayah and was also in L.A.

Not because of school purposes, but on 'business'.

"Hey, Ricky. I'm surprised you're awake." Malayah said.

"You know I'm always awake for special 3 am calls like this, dude. What can I do for you?" He laughed.

"I just need something that can help me chill out a little bit. Do you think you can help me?" It was the first time Malayah had ever done something like this so, for her, it was kind of awkward.

"Oh hell yeah! I never thought that Malayah Smith would be calling me for this. I'll send you my address. See you then, dude!"

It turns out that Ricky Myers doesn't live too far away from the campus, so Malayah arrived in less than ten minutes.

She knocked on the door and waited for Ricky to come to the door. To say that she was nervous was an understatement, she didn't really know what she was getting herself into.

When Ricky opened his apartment door, the strong smell of weed hit her nose. She almost wanted to scrunch her nose, but she decided against it.

"Aye, Malayah. Come in, come in." Ricky said, motioning her inside.

"So do you want weed, xanax, meth—"

"You sell meth, Ricky?!" Malayah exclaimed.

"I sell everything and anything. You name it and I've got it." He replied, sitting down on his couch.

"Well, I just need something that could ease my mind and make me forget for a little while." Malayah said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Xanax and weed, coming right up!" Ricky replied, a smile gracing his lips.

Malayah had heard about Xanax before. Apparently if it was laced with certain drugs, it could potentially kill you. Malayah was apprehensive to the whole situation, but if it would make her feel better, she would do anything.

"So, I'm assuming this is your first time doing any of this?" Ricky asks, coming back into the room, holding a small baggie and some blunts.

Malayah laughed and asked, "How'd you know?"

Ricky's eyes flittered over to her, "Because you seem really on edge. Chill, dude, you're gonna be just fine."

He handed Malayah the baggie and the blunts saying, "5 Xanax and 5 blunts, usually I sell weed by the gram, but I figured that you wouldn't know how to roll a blunt. I wouldn't take a Xanax and then smoke afterwards. I also recommend only taking half a Xanax, but if you really want to feel relaxed and forget about shit, take the whole thing."

She payed him his dues and thanked him for everything.

"It's no problem dude. Call me if you need anything else." Ricky said as they walked to his front door.

"Bye Ricky. Come visit me sometime, alright? Maybe you can pick up some new clients on campus." Malayah said, winking at him.

"I like how you think, dude. I'll be up there soon. Bye." Ricky said, waving at Malayah as she left.

Malayah's next stop wasn't back to her dorm, it was to Wal-Mart. She realized she didn't have a lighter and she needed new bedsheets. After seeing Cameron and Amelia make out on her bed, she knew that something else had probably happened in her bed as well.

After finding what she needed at Wal-Mart, she found herself at the back of her dorm building.

Malayah thought it was the perfect place to smoke. It was dark and desolate.

As Malayah flicked the lighter, she knew that after this first puff, there was no going back.

She put the joint in between her lips and flicked the lighter until a flame appeared. She brought the flame to the end of the blunt and sucked in a short breath.

She blew out the smoke and did it again. This time taking a longer drag from the joint.

She kept doing it over and over again until she felt higher than the clouds.