Demi Lovato Lesbian Imagines

Wide Awake |C

Wide Awake - Katy Perry

Listen to song* It'll help you feel the chapter

Bold lettering; memories 

*Demi's POV*

That's it... I did it.... I signed the papers.

I'm no longer married to Y/N... and damn does it hurt.

I laid in my bed; remembering every single detail of that day.

"NO DEMI! IT'S NOT ALRIGHT! I DON'T NEED THIS! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH; BUT NO LOVE CAN REPLACE THE HURT YOU CAUSED ME! WE JUST WEREN'T MEANT TO BE!" Y/N yelled.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?! YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP AND WALK AWAY! DID THIS ALL MEAN NOTHING?!" I yelled and she shrugged, glancing towards the wooden floors. 

"You meant everything to me.... that's what hurts the most" Y/N whispered and I raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" 

"I love you so much; it hurts. I thought I could deal with this life, be okay with your famous side.... bitch Demi; you've changed... you're not the same 22 year old I fell in love with... I don't think we are meant to be.... I think we made a mistake" She whispered towards the end and I could feel my eyes getting glossy.

"We're not a mistake Y/N" I argued and she shook her head.

"If we're not; then you are" She spoke with so much certainty in her voice that it stung.

"Well I'm the best damn thing you'll ever loose" I grumbled, getting mad that she was giving up on us; calling us a mistake, calling me  a mistake.

"You can't loose something you never had" 

I remembered that so perfectly; like it was just yesterday.

She said it so easily; called me a mistake so easily, like she'd wanted to say it all this time but didn't have the guts to do it...

I was the mistake; and she was sure of it.

I gave everything to her; I would kill just to make her happy; but as time went on... I guess I never did... and I don't know what hurts the most.

Knowing they're not happy; or knowing you're not happy.

I wasn't happy; I knew I wasn't.... we fought all the time; we argued about who took the trash out for fucks sake! When we got together; it was like two pieces of a broken heart stitching together but now, we're a whole heart chipping off piece by piece.

The second she told me she wanted a divorce; my whole world shattered. 

"NO! I CAN'T JUST GO OUT THERE; PUT ON A HAPPY FACE FOR CAMERA'S TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD! I'M NOT FUCKING HAPPY AND EITHER ARE YOU; WE BOTH KNOW THAT SO WHY ARE WE PRETENDING WE ARE SOME PEACHY COUPLE THINKING ABOUT OUR FUTURE?! AFTER ALL; ONLY THING I GOT ON MY MIND IS FILING DIVORCE PAPERS!" She yelled and my heart fell to my feet and broke into two.

"Yo- you want to div-divorce me?" 

"Oh don't act like you didn't know! WE CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS! I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THE FIGHTING; THE ACTING; THE HURTFUL MOVES! I can't sit here and watch you practically have foreplay with your dancers Demi! IT FEELS LIKE CHEATING TO ME! I can't walk out of my house and see paps asking me when I'm going to have kids with you; when all I want to do is kill you half the time! We're always at each others damn throats! I NEED A SUPPORTIVE WIFE! YOUR JOB ALWAYS COMES FIRST; I GET THAT, BUT WHEN I WANT TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU; YOU'RE TOO DAMN TIRED OR BUSY! IT'S LIKE I'M THE LOWER HALF OF YOUR PRIORITIES! I HAVE A LIFE TOO! AND YOU SEEM TO ONLY LIKE ME TO MAKE YOU LOOK AND FEEL GOOD! I can't take it anymore! I'M FILING DAMN DIVORCE PAPERS AND YOU WILL SIGN THEM!"

It wasn't even an option; there was no talking about it, there was no thinking about it. She made up her mind, she was divorcing me; and I didn't have an option.

I think what I feared the most; was being lonely again.

We should have broke up years before we got married; but we were too blind to see our issues and they grew and grew until they exploded and we both got hurt. 

I think the last time we were both happy with each other; was when we were 24 and that was almost 5 years ago.

I don't know what split us.... was it just natural? Was it one or the other? The public eye? 

I had no clue.

I carried on with work, burring myself in things to do so I didn't have to feel my emotions.

Today was the day; the day Y/N and I post everywhere that we are divorced. 

We posted it at the same time, both reading along the same lines...

@ddlovato: It hurts me to type this; but it's been a long time coming... Y/N and I have decided to end our marriage, it's for the best and it's mentally horrific being in a unhappy marriage and acting like you're the happiest couple in the word in the public eye.... please give us both our own space as we feel through our emotions; we both love each other very much and want nothing but happiness for the other person; love Demi Lovato and Y/N Y/L/N

The second I hit post... it's like a brick wall hit me and I just started crying and screeching. This horrific emotional pain just slapped me in the face.

I broke down; then and there in agony.

We use to be on cloud nine; and it felt like the whole world has ended now that we're not together... or so I thought that's what the pain was from.

In reality; I was petrified of being alone  I used Y/N as a resource to cover my own feelings, she was like a band aid to my broken heart... the supporting beam to our home... she held me together.

Divorce is weird... this long period of time it's been you and them; and then with on paper it's just you....

I don't know why being lonely kills me... it's like I just can't accept it. 

I don't even know where to start.... I have to start all over again.

I did everything alone now.... I went on tour; and I was alone, I didn't have goodnight I love yous, or afternoon talks, I didn't have those random funny text messages or sexy as fuck photos; when I came home the house was empty and cold, my mind filled with possibilities as laid in bed in the dark room; alone.

I could feel the tears pour down my face, the agony of pain filling my body as I remembered every hurtful word we had said to each other, every argument that ended in me going to an AA meeting and her staying at a friends house... I swear she was at her friends house more then she was here, which funny enough; we argued about that too because I accused her of cheating.

We had our wake up call; and it was a long time coming but one thing floated around my head every single night I laid in that bed, our  bed

She was my happily ever after.... so why were we never Happy?

* * * *

Thought of on: June 30th 2018

Written on: July 19th 2018

Published on: July 19th 2018

Word Count: 1276