Gay Chicken | ✓

{30}

Casper loving him.

And shit he did. Of course he did. Who wouldn't love that bastard? But the question was, did James even love Casper? Did he really want to be with Casper? Was it just to find himself, find someone willing enough to explore their sexuality with and come to a life changing conclusion, no feelings attached?

But then, Casper shook his head as his mind filled with more anxiety. He was panicking now, thinking of everything why James wasn't here. Why he hadn't come back on his knees and apologised for making the biggest mistake of their lives and making Casper miserable and getting angry at him for asking the impossible, at least for now.

God, he wanted to punch him. He wanted to kick him in the balls and grab him by the shirt and kiss him all at the same time.

Fuck, he missed him.

It was New Year 's Eve now and Casper was beginning to accept that he was just going to be just as single as he was the year before at the bells but this time he'd be much more miserable.Jesus Christ he was going to be heartbroken forever.

Waiting for eternity like some weird ass fairytale character.

At least he knew one thing for sure. When James did turn up at that door he was going to kick his ass and then grab him and kiss him like his life depended on it. Make him regret ever breaking up with him in the first place, yeah. That's what he'd do.

Going to him wasn't an option. He couldn't. Could he? There could be so many things wrong with going to him. He didn't want to be the guy standing at the door way, looking in and then having to walk away when James told him it wasn't going to work out. He didn't need that.

But then, was James ever going to come?

So yeah, okay. Maybe Casper was a little scared - terrified, even. And yeah, he also said this a lot but, God. This was terrifying. This was the most serious thing Casper had in his life, the only thing that had meaning. James was everything and screw anybody that thought different.

And no this wasn't some whiney, teenage, Juliet shit. Casper literally couldn't remember anything or anyone that made him feel like James made him feel. And right now he was making him feel like shit.

Maybe he could call him instead? Yeah, that wasn't too hard.

Casper reached over for his phone, pressing the green phone hastily to avoid the background of him and James. His thumb hovered over James' name like it had so many times before.

He could do this. He'd done it so many times before. Before, you know they had broken up and all and James disappeared of the face of the earth not even bothering to call.

Casper cried out, chucked his phone ti the bottom if his bed, and threw himself to the top and grabbed his pillow, giving in multiple punches as he made noises worthy of a kung fu warrior when his phone rang out clearly. Casper stopped immediately and turned to the phone and lunged back, almost toppling over the bed in his haste and answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Yes, yes? Hello?" he asked a little breathlessly, his hair hanging right over his face, he blew on it.

"Woah, someone's eager," came a voice, rough and surprised.

"Oh it's you," Casper sighed in disappointment, his heart struggled to slow down and the twist in his stomach loosened.

"...and not so eager anymore. I'm hurt, Cas. Really"

"What do you want Logan?"

"Seriously? Why do I need an excuse to check up on my friend?"

Casper didn't say anything. It had been four days since Christmas and he hadn't had a call since the first day from Logan when he had started shouting at him. Casper had thought to text him, to find out how James was countless times but he just felt desperate and pathetic.