doubled

|17|

I never told Ashton what my dad told me, for two reasons

1. There's some things that you just don't want to tell people, admitting to Ashton that my father told me my sister was better than me to my face was one of them.

2. Either way, that wouldn't justify my actions in what I told my sister. As much as it hurt me to say it- and as much as I may regret it, I would've ended up having to say it eventually.

But I was currently laying on my empty house's bedroom floor, crying my eyes out into my pillow.

And just to my luck, my mom called.

I quickly sucked it up, answering

"Hey mom" I faked a happy sound.

"Hi baby" she breathed out, making me squeeze my eyes shut.

"I just had a long talk with Calum" she spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry" I immediately breathed out, which made her breathe out

"I should be the one apologizing"

"I should've expected this to come eventually. We never addressed the situation your father put us all in, we never had a talk, I never even asked you if you were over it." She spoke quietly

"I'm sorry that it all had to come out tonight" she breathed out.

"But honey, Calum said that Ashton walked up on you and your dad, and he was a little physical with you." She spoke quietly.

"Mom I'm tired" I mumbled

"Sweetie, you have to talk to me about these things-" "and I promise that I will when I'm ready." I spoke quietly.

"It's just, too sensitive right now, can I call you tomorrow please?" I pleaded.

"Okay princess. I love you" she spoke quietly.

"I love you too mom."

I showered, running downstairs and getting ice, crawling into bed.

I took off my brace, seeing the major swelling, which I had no idea what to do with.

I covered my knee with the ice packs, covering myself up and letting the darkness take over.

Calum.

As soon as she left I looked to Macey

"You shouldn't have got mad at her" she spoke quietly.

"She's right- she's right about everything."

I help Macey close to me, hugging her into me, eventually feeling her going limp in my arms, falling asleep.

I went to Ashton, who stood at the nurses station.

"I walked up on Casey and her dad, who's here for his newborn baby" he spoke, not looking to me

"Calum the man had Casey cornered and was holding her face, staring at her, and I swear I've never seen her so- just small I guess." He spoke.

"She looked fucking terrified and heartbroken."  He spoke quietly.

"I wish you would've given me a little warning before we put them in a room together- no telling what the fuck he told her." I breathed out.

"There's still no reason why she couldn't have help that all in" I mumbled.

"But I mean- it's not so shocking that she said it now."

The next morning, around nine, I woke up, seeing that Macey was still asleep, but I knew what I needed to be here when she did wake.

So I got Ashton

"Can you go get Casey from her house, like make her come here no matter how much she argues."

"Okay, I got it."

Casey.

I woke up to someone rubbing the side of my thigh gently.

I shifted slightly, hearing a hum.

"Are you in pain?" Ashton voice spoke quietly.

I didn't speak, I just nodded, which made him sigh.

"Let's get you to the hospital so we can get you some medicine." He compromised, rubbing my back gently.

"I just want to stay home today, I'm still swollen and it's making my ankle fat now-" "michael can fix you up to where your whole foot won't swell" he spoke

"I don't really want to go anywhere Ash" I mumbled, making him lay behind me.

"You're feeling bad?" I assumed, making her nod slightly.

"But it's like it had to be said" she mumbled.

"The situation could've been handled much better baby, we could've all sat down and talked about it-" "talking doesn't fix anything Ash, because with us- talking leads to yelling." She spoke simply.

"You guys don't and you won't understand, but there's so much no one knows that I've went through, no pre-teen should have to face her twin fucking sister being favored over her."

"Casey, we do understand, and it's not right that they favored her honey, but you can't hold that against just her-" "and I'm not, I'm in no way doing that" I spat out

I breathed out, preparing myself, so I sat up.

"She got all of the attention, and that's not an exaggeration. I did everything for myself, I never got the new toys, I had to put bandaids on myself and kiss my own cute myself- because my parents didn't fucking do that for me, but they did it to her."

"And in a kids head, it's so fucked up, because everyday for six years I wondered what the fuck I did to deserve that, I wondered how I could change to be more like her, I completely disregarded with myself and my own thoughts and tried to be exactly like her, and nothing worked."

"When I was twelve, it was our birthday, and Ashton, you won't fucking believe this" I laughed

"They got her a cake with only her name on it, and I got nothing." I spoke.

"They sang happy birthday to her, and it ended, the day was over." I spoke.

"And that fucking night- I'll just fucking show you" I shrugged,  moving more straight and towards him.

"Don't flip the fuck out, this was four years ago" I mumbled, lifting my shirt to reveal the six lightly visible scars.

He didn't hesitate to hug me.

"No one fucking loved me, not even her" I cried into him.

"I had no one when I needed someone the most"