Personal Assistant (Ryden)

Chapter thirty-two

No one is happy. That became pretty clear when the sun rose and 4 people became confused and nervous and upset. 

"Did he answer?" Spencer asks Sarah as she walks in.

"He said... I don't know, I really don't believe it, but he said it was something about being in love with someone. He very briefly mentioned it, but the connection was bad and I still don't know where he is," she says, and Brendon tenses. Linda notices it and immediately has the thought that maybe Ryan was in love with Brendon. 

"I'm guessing he still hasn't, then?" Spencer asks.

"He never did as a kid?"

"Crushes is as far as he'd get," Spencer says, and Brendon frowns.

"What are you talking about?" Brendon asks. 

"Oh, it's..." Sarah hesitates, both of them looking at each other before sighing. "Ryan's never fallen in love with someone. Like, you may think we're joking, but he's never, ever fallen in love. Hell, I've known him for a few years now and he only got a crush on one person and it was our old neighbor, but it faded within a week. Ryan loves love and the thought of being in love with someone but he's never done it, so it's hard to believe that he's missing because he fell in love."

Brendon's heart shatters and he feels 100x worse. Seeing Ryan break down was the most heartbreaking thing that has happened, and now he's missing, and it's his fault. 

Dallon suddenly comes in, obviously pissed. 

"Brendon, your room, now," he says. Brendon stands.

"Dallon, thank god, we can't find Ryan, have-"

"Yeah, I drove him to the airport. He went home, now, room," Dallon cuts Spencer off, harshly grabbing Brendon's arm and leading him down the hall.  

"What do you mean he went home?" Brendon asks sadly once Dallon shuts the bedroom door. Brendon finally notices the fact that Ryan's stuff is missing. He didn't notice it yesterday, he went on a long walk and came back when it was dark, then woke up and didn't really pay attention.

"Brendon, this is coming from me as both your friend and your manager, alright?"

Brendon nods, and Dallon slaps him as hard as he can.

"Are you seriously that fucking stupid?!" Dallon yells at him, and Brendon looks at him in shock, hand on his now stinging cheek.

"What the fuck?!"

"You told him it was a mistake?!" Dallon yells, and Brendon's heart sinks.

"It was," he says. Dallon raises his hand slightly and Brendon scrambles backwards and onto the bed. "No, fuck you, that hurt, you bitch," he says, pointing at Dallon's hand while frowning.

"What the hell makes you think it was a mistake?" Dallon asks, voice quieter but tone pissed off and intimidating. 

"I shouldn't have made-... I shouldn't have let him fall in love with me," Brendon says.

"Oh, yeah? Because then you'd be assistant-less?"

"Okay, listen, I know what I did was wrong and fucked up. Spencer and Sarah told me that Ryan, in their words, has never, ever fallen in love with anyone before, so-" 

Dallon's hand clenches into a fist and Brendon falls off the bed in fear, then manages to get on Ryan's bed.

"I didn't want this to happen, okay? It hurt seeing Ryan breakdown and it hurt more when I realized he was gone. It hurts knowing how much I hurt him, and..." Brendon stops, because his attention has gone to the bed he's on. He and Ryan snuggled in this bed, kissed in this bed, laughed in this bed. He looks up and sees the water bottle that Ryan bought him. He didn't realize until now that it matches Ryan's hoodie exactly.

And that hurts. 

"And I miss him."

Brendon looks up, tears filling his eyes. 

"You wanna know the truth? I miss him. I-I miss holding him, I miss touching him, I miss kissing him. I love hearing his laugh and his smile makes me melt, and so does the way he makes these cute noises when I kiss him while he's off guard. The way he stretches and the way he presses his lips together when he's focusing, the way he looks all awkward and clumsy but it's really fucking adorable when he's trying to get things done fast, I just... I miss everything about him. It was a mistake to let him fall in love with me because I'm-"

Brendon suddenly stops, the truth hitting him harder than Dallon did minutes ago. Dallon finally sighs, because Brendon finally realized. Tears fall down his cheek and he feels like he can't breathe, because it hurts even more now that he's realized.

"Because you're in love with him too, and you didn't wanna fuck it up, huh?" Dallon says, voice now a lot calmer. Brendon looks at Dallon, then the bed again. He covers his mouth. Dallon steps forward and hugs Brendon quickly, Brendon frozen but shaking from sadness. 

"I'm gonna be out there. I'll be back in 10 minutes to check on you, and I want you to try and relax. Think, relax, and breathe. Please." 

Dallon pulls away and leaves, closing the door as Brendon's chest aches horribly. He gasps for air, then slides off the bed and lands on his knees. He starts sobbing hard into the duvet that still smells like the brunet. Brendon's grip on the blanket tightens. He fucked up. He fell in love and realized it way too late, and now it hurts. He doesn't remember falling in love with anyone either. He knows he has, but he's never felt so strong about someone like he does with Ryan. 

Sarah has been called back to reshoot another scene, and now Gerard is looking for Brendon. Dallon walks out, explaining before Gerard can even ask. 

"He's not okay right now. I don't think he's gonna be able to do anything for the rest of the day," Dallon explains quietly and calmly to the red-headed director. 

"What? Is he okay? What happened?"

"Personal issues, but he's... well, if I'm honest, he's crying pretty hard right now. It's best if we leave him alone," Dallon continues, and Gerard nods.

"Alright, okay. Um, I'll just see if we need to reshoot some scenes without Danny, get whatever we can done with just Jane and the others. Thank you," he says, then leaves. Dallon walks up to Spencer and Linda, who are sitting cautiously together.

"Brendon's the person Ryan fell in love with, isn't it?" Linda asks, and Spencer looks at both of them. He expects Dallon to deny it, but Dallon nods with an upset expression on his face. Spencer knew that Ryan liked Brendon, he didn't realize that he was in love.

"Brendon told him he doesn't love him back and it was a mistake, and so Ryan broke down and then asked me if I could drive him to the airport. He's home and safe, I contacted a kid named Gabe from his work to check on him and keep him busy with his jobs."

"Oh," Spencer says quietly. "Well... where's Brendon?"

"Having a breakdown because he just realized that he's in love with Ryan," Dallon says almost too casually, and they both stop. He nods. A heartbroken scream echoes down the hall. "Yeah, he's taking it pretty hard."