Personal Assistant (Ryden)

Chapter twenty

"Nice of you to join us," Brendon says as Ryan sits, but he chooses to ignore it. He looks down at his food, immediately feeling sick. He quickly pays attention to some other conversations going on, listening to people laughing and making jokes and him missing what it's like to feel that happy.

Spencer looks over about ten minutes later, realizing that Ryan's food has been untouched. He leans over to Sarah, who is on his right, and whispers.

"Does Ryan still... well, not eat?" He asks carefully. Sarah looks over, sighing quietly.

"His anorexia has been getting really bad, he's basically stopped eating altogether," Sarah explains, and Brendon hears the last part of it. He looks in front of him, sees that Ryan isn't eating, and frowns a bit.

"Ross, why aren't you eating?" He says, and rather loudly. A few people look at Ryan. Ryan tenses up, then feels tears sting his eyes. Panic rises in his chest and he stutters a bit before standing.

"I-I'm not... really feeling good. Um... I-I'm gonna go," he says awkwardly, turning and leaving quickly. Dallon glares at Brendon from across the table as Spencer stands and chases after him.

"What?" Brendon asks, oblivious, and Dallon rolls his eyes. Everyone has resumed to their meals, Sarah looking a little anxious but continuing to talk to Linda.

"Go get him," Dallon says, a little annoyed.

"Why? He just said he's not feeling good," Brendon says. 

"Just go," Dallon says, and Brendon sighs and stands up.

"Ryan, wait," Spencer says, and Ryan nervously turns around.

"What?"

"You need to eat," he points out, and Ryan scratches his wrist nervously.

"I can't go back in there," he says, but Spencer's attention is on something else. He grabs Ryan's hand and pulls his sleeve down, revealing the bandages. Brendon stops, hiding behind the door.

"What... when?" 

"Last night, don't worry about it. Dallon took care of it, I just... I can't go back in there," Ryan says, pulling the sleeve down.

"Why?"

"The way everyone was looking at me. They looked at me like I'm a freak. Everyone, e-even... even Linda, a-and Brendon, and-"

"Linda would never think you're a freak. She just cares about you."

"Yeah, well, Brendon doesn't, now does he?"

"Why do you care if Brendon-" 

Spencer stops the exact moment he realizes that Ryan looks like he's gonna have a panic attack. 

"Hey, it's okay, just relax, okay? You're alright," Spencer says, pulling him into a hug. Ryan silently sobs, shaking horribly, and Brendon's heart sinks horribly. He doesn't like seeing Ryan like this, seeing him look so sad. He turns around, then sees Dallon glare at him, so he sighs and walks in. Spencer doesn't notice him until he taps his shoulder. Spencer pulls away and Brendon immediately hugs Ryan close. It takes Ryan a second to realize that it's no longer Spencer, and he does when he looks over Brendon's shoulder. His scent dances it's way to Ryan's nose and he doesn't know whether to feel better or worse. 

Brendon's hand goes up to Ryan's hair, gently petting it. His gestures are kind but his expression is neutral, which is terrifying cause most of the time he's annoyed or angry. Ryan hesitantly hugs him back, shaky fingers gripping his hoodie tightly. Brendon's heart flutters and melts when he breathes in, feeling so high on his smell already. He loves holding him, that's something he never thought he'd admit, but he does.

"I don't think you're a freak," Brendon says softly into his ear, and Ryan tenses a bit more. Brendon secretly plants a kiss on his temple, then holds him closer. Ryan closes his eyes and hugs him tighter. Spencer smiles a bit, turning and walking out. Ryan either likes him or he is constantly looking for his approval, and he's realizing now that it's both. 

Spencer sits back down at the table and Sarah and Dallon look at him.

"He's alright," Spencer says. Sarah relaxes, her and Linda continuing their conversation, Spencer now joining. Dallon stands and walks into the next room, smiling a bit when he sees the two holding each other tight. Ryan doesn't realize it but Brendon is holding on to him, unintentionally looking scared as if he doesn't hold him then he'll die. Dallon takes a quick photo, turns, and leaves again.