Hold on *Completed*

Chapter 2

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about this friendship that seemed to be blooming between me and Jackson. It was great to connect with someone, but that doesn't completely discount the fear of having him find out my secret.

With David away on 'business', I couldn't help but feel more cheery as I sat opposite Jackson in the cafeteria, watching him as he clutched his stomach and hunched over in fits of laughter. Laughter erupted from me as well. The glimmer in his eyes from it created more butterflies that swarmed in my stomach. They rattled around inside in excitement and nervousness, and it's odd because I've never liked someone like this before. 

It was refreshing. 

It seemed too good to be true, the walls closing in like a warning in my subconscious. Nothing stays good like this for long. I didn't want to be a pessimist, but it's what I know. 

It had been 2 weeks into the school year and through this time me and Jackson had become better friends than I have ever been with anyone in my entire life. He made me laugh and smile which I didn't think would ever happen again, I never thought I could feel good again. 

It always felt like such a distance away, so far in the future that really it was almost a dream, a fallacy I believed in rather than something actually attainable. 

But it's happened, it's just taken me by surprise in that I found it in another person. 

The only odd part to this friendship is that we're all too aware of the last time our skin made contact. I certainly was aware, and I'm sure it's the same for Jackson because it's not like he's made an attempt at contact either.  So we haven't, not since that first day. 

Our laughter died down with me unscrewing the lid of my water bottle, shaking my head and finishing off the rest of the water.

"hmm... Next time refrain from hitting on teachers" I snort, watching him grimace before breaking out into a chuckle.

"You got to admit though, it was hilarious. Anyway she knew I was only joking." I rolled my eyes at him as he finished off his food. I look down at the remnants of my own, a small smile forming at the kindness from him. I never asked, never said anything and I know I'm good at hiding things but that didn't stop him from noticing my lack of lunch every day.  He noticed and almost immediately the next day, there he was, dropping a bag in front of me without a word. 

I'd feel embarrassed, but he doesn't make me feel like that. I don't feel like I owe him anything, and he doesn't either. It's just something he felt he had to do, no two ways about it. 

So I know he's good. 

And he noticed. 

But again, I'm not entirely sure that's a good thing yet.

David comes back home soon, he always brings home the whole gang. He plays up to them because they're all as bad as him and I'm a tool in his arsenal to big him up in front of them. To fuel his ego by dominating over me, and I let it happen. 

Because what else am I supposed to do? 

Once we both finish, we stand up and bin the rubbish, walking side by side to the large field where we sit every lunch. The sun was out and although the air had that chilly September breeze, the glow warmed my skin. I lay flat on my back as Jackson sat up next to me, careful not to touch. 

Some stupid part of me keeps jittering in with nasty things about myself. I try to shut it out, but it'll play quietly in the background of my brain even if I don't want it there. 

I watch his hand fidget, edging slightly away from me. 

He wouldn't want to touch someone like me I thought bitterly.