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21: Master Synn

Frozen with my mouth agape and my eyes locked on Master Synn's glowing white gaze, emotions blaze through my chest.

He's alive.

The first emotion hits me. Confusion, spinning my mind into a flurry of wonders as I struggle to make sense of the situation; as I struggle to fathom how Master Synn could be standing here, alive, before me. 

How COULD he be alive? Vylek killed him back at the estate. He didn't move. I must be dreaming. It must be a vision from the magick, unless... Could he have just been unconscious?

The second emotion strikes me, more powerful than the last. Guilt, constricting my chest until I can barely draw in breaths of the chilly mountain air. I KILLED an innocent creature in front of him. What will he think of me?

His expression softens. He opens his mouth to speak and it feels as if I'm living in a dream. His pallid eyes are filled with nothing but concern, pity, and compassion. "My little-"

"Saiea. My name is Saiea." A wave of heat surges through my body and my sharp voice cuts him off. "Not servant, not slave girl, not-"

"Saiea," he corrects himself. "My-"

"I'm not yours!" I grit my teeth as the magic trembles at my fingertips. At the estate, I felt so much care and compassion for him, but right now...I feel nothing. Nothing but anger. Nothing but hate. Nothing but the desire to let my new power stream from my fingertips and use him as a scapegoat for all the suffering I've ever endured.

Even if he doesn't deserve it, I feel like he does. The heat surging through my body wants to lash out and destroy him.

He blinks. His jaw tenses and he looks away, eyes narrowed. I've hurt him...and I don't regret it. All the regret and confusion have dissolved within me and it feels good.

A ruffle in the brush behind Master Synn catches my attention and a burst of magick shoots toward him. I must have caught him off guard because he takes a moment to realize he's being attacked and isn't able to raise his hand in time to stop the burst. 

Vylek steps into my view. His hand is extended toward Master Synn, pulling him down onto his knees. Master Synn doesn't look at Vylek as he approaches. His gaze stays on me. 

"She used the chrysallite!" Vylek hisses when he sees me, sending waves of red magick through Master Synn's body. Master Synn cringes but otherwise remains unphased. 

"What the hell were you thinking, telling her where you'd hid it?" Vylek raises his voice to a scream.

Master Synn shakes his head, struggling to move his fingertips and break from the red magick. 

"What the hell were you thinking?" Master Synn growls. "What did you DO to her that drove her to use it? Why didn't you take me and torture me for the information? She wasn't like this when she lived with me; you gave her enough emotion to fuel the use of it!" 

Vylek scowls, his voice echoing like a roar through the mountainside. "And you would have just spilled its location so easily? She spilled it for us easily. We let her think she could run off and she lead us straight to it." 

Vylek roars. "It's not like I thought the stupid bitch would bloody well use it as soon as she laid her ugly eyes on it."

"Stop!" I scream. I don't know if I've ever screamed at anyone. "Shut up!"

Brought to life by my stress, the blue lightning arches around me and strikes the ground everywhere within a two-yard radius.

The rush of blue electricity startles Vylek, causing him to release Master Synn, who jumps back out of range of the blast. I turn toward Master Synn, letting my rage take over.

"Why the hell didn't you come back for me sooner?" The lightning jumps and flicker off of my limbs. 

"How could you let them take me? Let them torture me?" Tears form at the edges of my eyes and I quickly blink them away.

"Why didn't you trust me? What do you think I'm doing right now? Do you honestly think I came for that stupid chrysallite?" His brow tenses as my lightning strikes close to his body.

"Why..." Master Synn pauses, his voice brimming with sadness, "...would you use it?"

The tone of his words sends sharp pain through my chest like my heart is shattering. I turn around, tears spilling down my cheeks, and run as fast as I can into the wilderness. It hurts to face him. It destroys me to have disappointed him. I choke out a loud sob as I run and the trees around me burst into bright blue flames.

The magick simmers, winding out of my body and into the nature around me, and my mind clears. What have I done? Every time I feel upset I destroy something. Is this what it feels like to be powerful? Is this what I wanted? 

Collapsing on the forest floor, I throw my face into my hands as lightning strikes on all sides.

Why did I treat Master Synn like that? He said he came for me and not the crystal. He's alive. I should have run to him...so why did I want to hurt him?

I want to be weak again. I want to get rid of this electricity that kills animals and burns down forests. I want to get rid of this power that makes Master Synn look at me with sadness and disappointment. I want nothing more than to be held and protected again.

Footsteps behind me shock me. I jolt around and an unintentional bolt of energy shoots from my fingertips in the direction of the source: Master Synn, who must have followed all of the forest damage to find me. He shudders and raises his hands to block it.

The current races into him, being absorbed by some sort of magick, and he starts to shake. Fear rushes through me, drowning out my other senses. 

I'm hurting him. 

I try to will the lightning to stop, but it only grows in intensity. I jerk away from him and run, not knowing any other way to keep from hurting him. 

Sobs choke my throat even harder as I run.

What have I done? I'm a monster.