found☆terror twins

: 18. ember :

just a little bit of strong language in this chapter. what can i say, you gotta come back with a bang

• • •

        As I was rushing out of the room, I didn't even bother to wipe my tears. People passed by. Many of the gave me concerned or empathetic looks. I don't even know who was there. It could've been the god damn Queen of England and I wouldn't have noticed.

         I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me to a complete stop. Without even thinking, I shoved my elbow back and up. Hard.

          "Ember, what the actual hell?!" It was Lennox. Oh shit. I think i just broke Lennox's nose. The moment he saw the tears in my eyes, he tried to pull me into a hug but I refused. I could not - would not - show weakness right now.

          "Lennox, do not touch me again or I'll break more than just your nose," I threatened while stepping back and turning around. I started walking away. He let me go. Good. I want to be alone now and finally someone is noticing.

         I made my way out of overcrowded hallways and made it into the hanger. Bad choice. All of the bots were waiting there: Optimus, Bee, Ratchet, and of course the twins. When they saw me, they started walking quickly over, but someone stepped in their way. A human. It was Macey. She seemed to mumble a few angry words to the two of them before Sunstreaker looked my way with guilt radiating off of him.

           I couldn't stand to look at them. It would make me start to cry and that cannot happen. Not again.

           I remember when I was younger, back in my childhood home. I was always involved in sports, track specifically, and my uncle was my coach. I recall my very first meet where I placed 'second' to another little girl on the team. Of course back then, no one was really keeping track. It was an "everyone is a winner! We are so proud of you for trying!" king of thing.

          But apparently that wasn't enough for him. I can't even bare say his name. He yelled and yelled and yelled at me for not coming in first. When I began to cry and tried to run to my mother, he grabbed my arm and uttered these words into my little ear: "if you ever cry again due to your own mistakes, your life will be a living hell. Crying is for the weak links of society."

         Let's just say those words stuck with me and I never lost a race again.

          That's what was happening right now. I was a weak link. I could not be a weak link. I turned on my heel and walked out of the hanger. I felt my heart tear and shattered two other hearts in the process.

• • •

         Three days passed. I haven't left my room. No one has tried to contact me physically. Macey comes by everyday to leave food at my door, but never attempts to come inside. I guess she understands what I'm feeling right now.

          I have not shed another tear. My heart wants me to so badly, but I refuse.

          When it hit a week passed, there was a knock at the door. I opened the door a crack to see who it was. Lennox was standing before me, his nose crooked and bruised.

          He wasted no time before talking. "Em, can I talk to you, please?"

         "About what?" My voice was weak from not using it in a week. I cleared my throat before he began taking again.

           "I just need to talk with you. General stuff. Making sure you're okay." He sounded genuine, but there was no actual proof to show that he was genuine. A little voice went off in my head and said 'oh what the hell, let him in.'

            I opened the door halfway and looked behind him suspiciously. "It's only me. No one else is even in this hallway." I nodded and opened the door all the way, stepping to the side and letting him pass.

           He entered the room and looked around. There was a pile of Macey's trays on the desk. Blankets were messed up from my nightmare filled nights. My backpack was laying on the floor half-filled. I kicked it under the bed, hoping Lennox wouldn't have seen it.

            "Love what you've done with the place." He said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and sat on the edge of the bed. "Listen, the twins-"

         "No, no, no twin talk. Anything but twins talk."

          "Alright, everyone is really worried about you. You have not even cracked your door open in a week and-" I cut him off, once again.

         "What exactly did you expect, William? I was told by two alien robots that they are destined to be with me-"

        "Yes, sparkmates."

          "-and you ask why I haven't left my room? I'm not the kind of person who gets the privilege to be loved. I am so fucked up, you don't even know the half of it."

          "I think I do, actually. You don't trust people, that's obvious. I can only assume that people turned on you before Sunstreaker found you near Mexico. I can also tell by the way you rely on Macey for advice and companionship that one of the people who didn't turn on you was a sister or possibly a female cousin. And the way that you let me in this room just not shows that you are in desperate need of love but you try to keep up this badass image. You are so starved of love and affection that you don't know how to react when it is placed right in front of you."

          "What are you, my fucking shrink?" I snapped, not wanting to listen to what Lennox really said.

            He sighed and said softly, "I'm not even going to tell you not to say bad words because that would make me a fucking hypocrite." He both laughed at that. It felt nice to laugh again, to do something other than sulk.

           I finally let his words hit me and I sat there for a moment. It was all true. All of the words that I wanted to say were on the top of my tongue, but they wouldn't come out of my mouth. I just nodded. Tears formed in my eyes and I angrily wiped them away.

          "I also want you to know it's okay to cry."

           At that, I broke now, falling into his chest. Sobs took over my entire body as years of pain and suffering were finally expelled into the opening. I don't even know how long I cried, but all I know is I fell asleep on Lennox.

          In my deep sleep, I couldn't feel him slip from under me and tuck me into bed. I also couldn't feel the other two bodies in the room before my door was closed for the night.

           For the first time in a week, I slept with happy, peaceful dreams animated with images of Sunstreaker, Sideswipe and myself.

• • •

sorry this took so long but I've been binge watching BBC Sherlock for the past week so iF ANYONE WANTS TO BE MY SHERLOCK BUDDY BE MY GUEST