Always: A Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 83

Katniss

After a blurry day or two, Massie sent me back to the Victor's Village. Peeta pushed me in a wheelchair the whole way, which I hated every second of. I remember having to sit in one in 13. It was terrible, but now I'm in my District. I'm in my home, surrounded by people I know. I'm not sure if that makes everything better or worse.

Haymitch came by a little while ago. He explained everything that happened. Apparently someone who was angry at us for 'killing' his family in the Rebellion had been plotting revenge for years. He couldn't come up with much and decided just to come to the square and kill us. He shots and killed two people. I didn't know either of them. A brave young woman named Rose tried to get the gun out of his hands but her plan back fired and he shot her. The other, an older man, probably my father's age when he died. He tried something similar. Haymitch didn't said he didn't know his name. Then, a District guard, which we hardly need anymore, came to the rescue and killed the man.

Peeta seems surprised that this happened, but I'm surprised it hasn't happened more often. I can see why people blame me for their family and friends dying. I blame myself, really. Of course, I didn't say that out loud. Peeta would have launched into another speech about how I saved all of Panem. And if it weren't for me, 23 kids would die in the Games every year. I can't tell if he actually thinks that I believe him when he tells me all of that.

"Do you need anything, Katniss?" Peeta asks. I'm lying on the couch in the living room. Peeta has been clinging to me, every second, constantly asking if I need something. I love him but I need space. I hate feeling surrounded by people, but I'm happy that the old Peeta, the good, kind one is here with me again. But I can tell it'll never be the same, like it used to. He still has an unfamiliar edge to him, something the old Peeta never had.

"I'm fine," I say. He nods and returns into the kitchen. He's been in their for a long time, ever since I got back. He bakes a ton, which I don't mind. I think it's his way to get out his stress and worry. That and painting, but the kitchen is closer to me than where he keeps his art supplies, so he chose baking instead. The sweet fragrance of fresh cookies fills the air. I remember when Peeta's father brought me the cookies on the day of the Reaping. I didn't understand why he took a liking to me until I was in the arena, with Peeta in the cave. He loved my mother, just like Peeta loves me. But Peeta's story is different. I didn't run off with Gale, like my mother did with my father. I chose Peeta and I couldn't be happier with my decision. She'll choose whoever she can't live without. Gale's words, which sound new in my head, send chills over my body. I hate that they wanted me to choose between them. That they put that pressure on me, when we were in the middle of the rebellion. I shake it off. It's the past, it's over.

I shut my eyes and rest my head on a velvet pillow behind me. Immediately I'm whisked off into sleep.

***

I'm awakened with another dream. A dream, but not a nightmare. I cry out for Prim, and Peeta is at my side within seconds. "It was just a nightmare," he says. I whimper.

"No. It wasn't a nightmare. It was good," I say, which causes Peeta to raise an eyebrow. I must have died, or something. There was a lot of white surrounding me. "I was with Prim. Prim, Rue, Finnick, Ruth, my father. Everyone. It was like they were real."

Peeta pulls me towards him and I rest my head on his chest. "Katniss. If you saw all of them...You died in your dream didn't you?" I don't reply. I don't want Peeta to make a big deal out of nothing. He sits taller and looks me in the eye.

"Yes..." I sigh. "Maybe it would be better if-"

"No!" he yells. I jump at the loud tone of voice. Peeta never yells. "You aren't going to kill yourself." I can see tears brimming his eyes, threatening to spill over. I put my hand on his cheek and wipe away a stray tear.

"I'm not going to. I wouldn't leave you hear. I promise," I say. But as I pull him into a hug, I wonder if leaving Peeta would be better for him.