Mrs Single

Chapter 26

VRUSHALI P.O.V

He was hurt by the words I said but it was his actions that made me speak like that. After sometime we walked back to our tent. I greeted him Good night and tried to sleep.

.......

I was feeling drowsy and I heard his voice, is that a dream ? I can hear my name ! I partially opened my eyes and I saw a shadow on the tent. I guess it is him calling me really. I woke up and opened the tent zip. It was Vasu!

" What happened Vasu ? "

"A lot !"

I was already half awake , half asleep and couldn't understand what he was telling. I rubbed my eyes and widened my eyes.

"You are right Vrushali I never knew you and never allowed you to know me !

You had all the rights to ask me and even now you have but I didn't answer because I was scared"

He sat before me comfortably and cupped my cheeks and came closer.

"You asked after the third day of our marriage what was the most memorable birthday in my life and I didn't answer that and you were disappointed , you didn't try to show it but I knew you were.

I will answer for that now Vrushali, I never had any birthday which was memorable to tell and I was insecure to tell that to you " he told that with a small smile and continued with his eyes fixed on mine. It is so surreal to have an eye to eye contact with this man.

"You were always full of smile and laughter, you were happy for no reason. I used to find it different because I never used to experience happiness the same way and it irritated me when I couldn't be the like that and I have many times shown my irritation to you. Even now I am surprised by how you can be happy despite me destroying you and still talk with me"

" You need to know my past, I had a rough childhood, it was full of rules and discipline.

    I wanted to explore but it was restricted, I wanted to laugh but I was condemned  , I wanted to question I was silenced. I had to follow rules always be it in my home or school.

My mother is a very strict and disciplined person and cannot bear a single mistake or mischeif and I cannot bear when my mom punishes me, her punishments has embarrassed me always and kids of my age used to make fun of me, so I be very careful to not put myself in an embarrassing situation.

Because of that I was the dream student in school, my teachers praised me and mom was very proud of that. But I was feeling suffocated and I knew I was faking but still I wanted to strive for perfection so that my mom will accept me.

I never made any friends, some of my classmates genuinely tried to befriend me but I couldn't reciprocate anything back. I was appreciated, admired for my performance but only I knew I was a caged bird, my cages were invisible.

He paused for a while and looked down. I rubbed his shoulders and lifted his chin.

"What made you feel caged Vasu "

He didn't speak, so I let the silence continue, it will allow him to loosen up and speak.

"My insecurities were my cages Vrushi, I have longed for security and love throughout my life, mainly from my parents but I was not given what I wanted.

I can't tell they didn't take care of me but they didn't give me what I wanted. They protected me from evils around but I needed someone to hug me when I cried not someone who warned me when I cried, someone who would accept me as I was. I never got warm hugs, forehead kisses.