Wingman

Confessions

"What's his name?" Taehyung searches your eyes from the distance he keeps.

You twitch by the table. He stands still by your couch.

"Why does it matter?" you say.

Taehyung smiles but doesn't mean it. "You seemed happy when you answered the door," he gulps, he gulps hard in attempts to stop tears. "...I want to know who he is. If he brings a smile to your face that's all I care about."

Your watery eyes roll. Body language starting to become more and more distant. Taehyung's jaw flexes when noticing the change. He says, "You don't believe me when I say that?"

"I don't believe a lot of what you say anymore."

Taehyung's sight narrows. He steps forward and feels the heat in his head warm up his body. He doesn't shake this time. The anxiety attacks in forms of anger, hurt, and inability to just scream out his wants. "Including the bit where I say I care about you?" he asks.

"Especially that bit." Your eyes, although they water and hurt, block out warmth from coldness they seep.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" you ask, matching jaw muscles with his tenseness. "Speak truth?"

"You don't," Taehyung grumbles under his breath, fighting back a frustrating groan, "You don't know my truth or why I hi—"

"I don't care anymore!" Voices waver and reach octaves because you're about to explode. Tears are close to swallowing face, hearts ready to shatter on and on. "I don't-t," you don't fight your whine, "I don't give a fucking shit about your truth anymore. You said it loud and clear when you walked away leaving me behind."

Taehyung's anger shifts. Moods swinging with his chest that fears to have his heart dance out. He steps close to you and you move back, tears daring to fall. "N-No, you have no right to come back. I threw myself at you and you walked away without giving me an answer! If I wasn't worth your time then, you're not worth my time now!"

"You are worth my time," Taehyung panics, head frantic with nods. "Y-ou were worth it then and you're worth it now!"

"What? As friends?" You scream. "That bullshit excuse of a relationship so what? You can lead me on some more?"

Tears fall and extend. Taehyung's heart carries in different weights, his mind moving from thought to thought fast. "N-No, I wasn't—I didn't mean—"

"I kissed you. I kissed you and asked you what you wanted. But you couldn't even give me the closure I asked for without being a selfish prick. Now I'm doing the same," you point to your door. "Leave!"

Taehyung finds it hard for his voice to overpower yours. You shut your eyes, stain your cheeks, and blacken under-eyes with mascara that starts to run. "Leave," you repeatedly shout, "Go!"

He's a monster in your closet on the days it thunders. You tell him to leave but he stays, moving closer.

"I'M NOT WALKING AWAY AGAIN!" The deep voice shakes the ground you're on. Eyes catching his exhausted ones, you scream back the same from before.

"No," Taehyung says, tears wiggling by the ends of his jaw. The water fails to decide when it'll fall to hit the ground, roll onto his neck, or stain his tee.

"I want you to!" You whimper.

He shakes his head. How his heart reacts is seen in his expression. "No you don't, don't say that. No you don't."

"I have to go. I have someone else." There's a failure to collect your sanity, dignity, and composure. Even when you try to move from place, your feet stay put and screams formulate again.