Summary:
Waking up in the middle of the night, Yifan was scared that his marriage might fall apart.
Notes:
From what I heard, Kris's mom is a single mother. Thus the anxiety...
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Laying back on the long sofa which couldn't provide enough space for his long limbs, Kris stared up at the ceiling of his family house's living room. It was still dark and almost silent outside the house, with only the lamp in the kitchen as his only source of light and the ticking sound accompanying him. But he didn't pay any attention to any of it. Instead, his gaze traced the simple line carving of the plafond above him, following the endless line of square which made the living room ceiling until he sighed out tiredly.
'Why am I still awake at this time?' He asked himself, glancing at the analog clock hanging above the entrance of the room to know that the dawn was still far before adding. 'Why did I come here instead of staying in my room?'
Letting out another sigh, the tall man sat up slowly, ignoring his feet which were still hanging on thin air beyond the sofa armchair. "Marriage." He muttered softly.
Several months ago, he accepted the proposal of marriage from his long time boyfriend, Minseok. He happily agreed that making it official for them was a very good idea as they were in love with each other and he was -Minseok too- happy when their parents gave their blessing for the marriage of the two.
Soon after that, their parents met and talked about the wedding. Agreement had been reached and everyone had set off to prepare the wedding. And now, it was already a week before the Day. Yifan should be excited for it just like any groom should be, yet a nightmare had started to haunt him which left him with nothing but worry and panic.
Turning on his seat until his feet were off from the armchair and not hanging in the air anymore, Yifan sent his gaze to the photo of him and his mother. He was still so young in that photo, about to start his first day in elementary school back in China, and his mom looked really happy, albeit the tiredness she felt at that time which hung obviously under her eyes.
He couldn't really remember what he felt at that time. Maybe excitement? Or maybe worries? Or scared of new school? He didn't remembered about that day clearly. Yet he still could clearly remember how hard those past days for both of them. He had no father to guide him through his childhood, and even though his mom didn't show it to him, it was clandestinely obvious that she had hard time for the sake of the two of them.
Yifan rarely gave it much thought, he thought he was fine with his mother and they would be alright. But, if he said that he never once thought about it, he would be the biggest liar.
He often wondered; how it would be like if he still had his father, what would happen if he had his father, and what he would do if he had his father. Those thought, even though had been pushed away, still lingered throughout his life, under the pile of memories, watching over him. And when he thought that he had completely forgotten about it, they pushed him down and chained him to his spot.
His fatherless memory became the ghost of his marriage, haunting him with the possibility of it ended badly, and it scared him so much that it kept him awake in his nightmare of future.
"Fan?" A soft voice called sleepily into the darkness of the living room. Yifan turned, standing to greet the sight of his mother at the entryway of the living room, the white light from the kitchen showed bronze hue of her lightly tanned skin yet hid her expression from his vision.
Walking toward her, the son responded, finally able to see her worried expression. "What's up, ma?"
Placing her hands on her son's elbows, she looked up at him. "I just want to get some drink. What are you doing here?"
