Kiss of Death- Dave Mustaine Fanfiction

Lord Knows I've Paid My Dues

Early one mornin' the sun was shinin'
I was layin' in bed
Wondrin' if she'd changed at all
If her hair was still red
Her folks they said our lives together
Sure was gonna be rough
They never did like
Mama's homemade dress
Papa's bank book wasn't big enough
And I was standin' on the side of the road
Rain fallin' on my shoes
Heading out for the east coast
Lord knows I've paid some dues
Gettin' through
Tangled up in blueShe was married when we first met
Soon to be divorced
I helped her out of a jam I guess
But I used a little too much force
We drove that car as far as we could
Abandoned it out west
Split up on a dark sad night
Both agreeing it was best
She turned around to look at me
As I was walkin' away
I heard her say over my shoulder
We'll meet again some day
On the avenue
Tangled up in blue - Bob Dylan

Kill Bill Part 2 came out only a mere few months later. This is what cemented my staying power in Hollywood yet again. I have to admit I felt pretty special walking around in my high heeled boots. It was like I could take over the world. However, as of right then and their I had to spend as much time with my kids as possible. It was summer and my kids were going to have to go back to school in a little bit. Justis was edging towards the end of middle school while Electra would be starting 1st grade that year. I wanted to do something special for them.  Sure, we all hung out with each other where ever I was shooting a movie at that time, but I wanted them to go where they wanted to go. I had the money, time, and freedom to do it so why not? 

At that current moment I was waking my kids up for breakfast. We would just go to the park and have fun today. After all I wanted them to live outdoors and have freedom. They loved the outdoors, and they loved playing outside. I knew doing such would never get old too them, they just adored it too much. I would more often then not sneak into Electra's room first and nudge her awake so we could then scare her older brother out of bed. I know it sounds quite childish, but I loved doing this. Despite, pushing 40 those guys made me feel young. I felt extremely ecstatic whenever I got play with them. They will never understand this, but Justis and Electra unknowingly were giving me my childhood back. 

We were out back playing and rough housing when I heard a loud banging ring through my ears. I sighed then looked back towards the door. I knew you had recently got released from La Hacienda since you kicked your addiction (for the 14th time) and your arm healed up, but I didn't expect you to come and find, especially this quickly. This was even stranger due to the fact that we haven't spoke to each other since that time back in the hallway. To say I was dreading your presence was an understatement. Yet, to my surprise the one who stood at my door wasn't you, but it was your former bandmate, Dave Ellefson.

I must've gave him a strange look as I creeped open the door, because he immediately began trying to explain himself. "Pamina. Could you let me in? We need to talk about Dave." he looked like his usual self. He didn't seem all that happy sure but he had been clean and was married to this nice girl since the early nineties. However, despite all of this I was still very compelled to slam the door in his face.  Yeah, he was a nice guy and all, but he was a reminder of you. No  matter how good the intentions may have been any reminder of you was a bad one.

I cracked the door open some more and let him come inside while I told the kids to just stay where they were at.

"How did you find me?" 

"Dave told me that you lived around this area."

I gazed over at him wearily expecting the worst. "Did he send you here?"

"No, I came on my own accord. I need to talk to you."

I suddenly turned towards him and stopped messing around with what was at hand. It was at full attention.

"What about?"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair pulling them back into a loose ponytail.  "Our band it's dying."

I perked my eyes in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You had to have known, Pamina. Come on. It was all over MTV News. He kicked me out of the band."

I looked over in shock to say the least. I surprised me that you kicked him out. You guys were like brothers to each other. You guys were inseparable. So much so to the point that he'd constantly defend you whenever you did something atrocious. Yet, I guess given the current mentality you were adapting I suppose it was only to be expected from you sooner or later. Plus, that lawsuit he waved over your head over writing credits made it even worse in my opinion.

"Well what do you want me to do?" I sighed.

"Can you please talk to him?"

I jerked my head up to face him shocked by his request. "Why?" I mumbled out.

"You know he been really sensitive ever since-"

"I don't care. He doesn't love me now. He never did nor will he ever will learn to love me. He didn't one about kicking me to the curb what makes you think you are safe? Just do something else with your like Dave. Megadeth is a thing of the past. It's an old worthless relic. It's time to move on. The times they are a-changin. And there is not one damn thing any one of us could do about it."

Sighed turning away from going back to my work trying to occupy myself with something other than this.

"Pamina, please just-"

I whipped around to face him with this new found fury that quelled deep inside of me that laid dormant for quite some time. "Don't you want to be happy!" I yelled causing the stillness in the air to become more and more evident. "Happiness is a choice! And I made the choice to leave that bastard and so should you!" I should with anger as I began to slowly ease my raging emotions. "Dave, please leave. You're talented, you have wife and kids, you're pretty well off. Sucking up to Dave won't change anything. Go forward with that lawsuit if you want I don't care. Just go out on your own endeavors from now on. You have the money and time to do so. Just don't drag me back into this. I was in this for almost two decades and I have been around him for almost three. Just leave him and Megadeth to fade away and die as the Metallica rip-off they are." I finished lightly grabbing his shoulder trying to express some sort of empathy and sympathy for the man who stood in front of me. 

He sighed and turned away going back to his car to leave. I finally got what I yearned for the most in the entirety in my life, solitude. I knew wasn't going to get that from you or anyone associated with you. So damn anyone who dares think they will get in the way of my peace and my tranquility.

 I was married woman who was about to be divorced. But the past is far behind us all, and the future was closing in. I was abandoning you and everyone I knew to live and be out in the west. Yet, no matter how much I tried you never left my mind. It was as if you were damning me by figuratively saying, " We'll meet again someday." And this is always done while I'm trying to walk away. I can't speak for you, but the Lord knows I've paid my dues.