Teenage Whore

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When I was a teenage whore
My mother asked me, she said, "Baby, what for?
I give you plenty, why do you want more?
Baby, why are you a teenage whore?"
I've seen your repulsion and it looks real good on you
I don't want to live what you had, you have put me through
I wanted that shirt and I, I wanted those pants
It's all the lying put me through and I
I never, whoa! - Hole


I was having the time of my life my you. I have never felt so alive, so free, so liberated. The high that fogged and clouded my mind only brought and drove me closer towards you. However, that night we learned that we weren't really ourselves. With me you learned that if given the chance I could be loud, extraverted, and excitable. However, with you on the other hand you were essentially the exact opposite of me. This was the first time I have ever bared witnessed you in such a vulnerable, sensitive, exposed, defenseless, and wide open state. You were like a small wounded animal. You always acted so tough and masculine around everyone, but you seemed to forget that being open and sensitive is a good thing as well. You seemed to shame and shun that part  of your personality. You acted as though it didn't exist and like you were this tough, crude, unfeeling, unfeeling rebel of a man, but in all atonality you were exactly like me, weak, lonely, and vulnerable. 

We spent a few hours in that place, with our senses blurred and our clothes and hair were ruffled and wrinkled from us groping each other and us kissing each other quite ferociously. You clearly had a huge affect on me. Never before have I thought about dating a boy, let alone kissing one, but you seem to draw out different parts of me quite easily and quite quickly. The changes I was undergoing was practically overnight. You were making me much more rebellious and much more free-spirited and much less conservative. I hoped I was having the same effect on you as well. You were tearing down my walls just like those in Berlin, and I hoped I was doing the same to yours.

We slowly left the building stumbling over each other, giggling, laughing, and trying to make our way back home. I didn't want to leave you though. I was scared of leaving you. What would this mean for our relationship? Will you act like nothing ever happened, will we start officially dating, or will we just act like friends? So many question buzzed around my head. All these possibilities yet no answer in sight. All of these options was making my brain her and were sobering me up from my high. 

'Damn!' I thought. 'What would mother think?' Mother kept my leash rather short. I have lived a sheltered life away from the public, away from social interaction, away from evil rock music, and away from juvenile delinquents like you. What would she think of me? Me coming home late with a boy, high, and frazzled. I must've looked like so common whore! How indecent, improper, and unladylike of me! I was turning into something else, and I didn't mind it one bit.

We arrived at my house and we shyly smiled at each other reminiscing on our time spent with each other tonight. You then leaned in and planted a delicate kiss upon my lips. Just as you pulled away the door to my house opened and my mother stood there livid, angry, and disappointed in me.

She began to tap her foot impatiently and intentionally cough to draw our attention towards her. Her stern face, sharp blue eyes, and thin lips stuck in a straight neutral line. She glared down towards me, and began to speak.

"Say goodnight to your friend, Pamina." She ordered in an unaltered and emotionless tone.

"Goodnight, Dave." I said in a shy squeaky voice.

You opened your mouth to speak, but I was immediately pulled inside of the house. She promptly locked the door pulled me closer to her form and then slapped me across the face.

"How dare you!" She screeched. "I do everything for you! I was preparing you for your future! And how do you repay me? You go off and get high with some delinquent far away from our house!"

"But mother, please!" I pleaded

"No enough, Pamina! You are not to see that rabble-rouser ever again! He's trying to take you away from me, and I won't stand for it! Look at me! I give you plenty why must you want and take more! Why are you such a loose whore!" She yelled out. 

"Look at yourself for a second, Pamina." She tried to reason for me. "You are turning against me. He made you turn against me. You are now a whore. You are now so willing to open your legs for the first man you meet. What's wrong with you?" She whispered out in this gentle caring tone, however, her repulsion of me shown clearly on her sharp features, and it suited her quite nicely.

"Go to your room, Pamina. We will discuss this in the morning."

I ran straight to my room once dismissed crashed onto my bed and began to softly weep into my pillow case and bed sheets. Why I thought to myself repulsed by my actions. Why am I like this? I'm so disgusting. I'm so pathetic. I'm so dirty and cheap. I'm fake diamonds, and fake jewels. No one loves me for what I am, but for what I imitate. I'm nothing, but a dumb teenage whore.

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