A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔

Chapter Thirty Six : The Boy's Anger

"There's no-no coming back once you're here," he said with an edge in his tone, his nostrils flaring. "You're going to---" he lowered his voice, "You're going to die in here Joy."

"I'm going to die anyway Logan, in here or back at home. Here I can be at peace and Gemma won't be scared. If I spend my final days at home, Gemma would be frightened constantly seeing the deathly look on my face and with morphine and stuff attached to me. She freaks out even when she sees me in the hospital, she's still not used to it. Also, all the equipments cannot be arranged at home," I explained truthfully. "Logan, you do know that I'm going to really die? Like poof! Disappear from this earth only a bit slowly. And this is where I want to be."

"Right yeah, I-I'm going outside," Logan said bitterly, getting up from the bed.

"Logan, this is pointless---"

"I'll see you outside," he cut me off and trudged outside the room without a backward glance.

I slumped on the bed and gazed outside the window. I didn't understand him. This room got nothing to do with my deteriorating condition. In fact, I would feel better here. He probably freaked out after seeing the sick man in the other room, but he had to face it. I was going to be like him one day, at least by winter. I hoped that I could walk till the end of autumn, I didn't want to be in bed by the end of summer. Only some weeks were left.

I massaged my temples and for a few minutes, I enjoyed the solitude of this room. I couldn't possibly ask for more, this was everything I needed. The thought of being so close to the serene ocean brought me a sense of relief and delight.

I got up slowly and with a last glimpse of the striking room, I shut the door.

"I'll go now, thanks for showing me around Amy," I said once I reached the lobby and spotted her.

Amy's smile immediately appeared. "Do you want to see the yard dear? You would like it."

"No, no, I should go. I saw it from the window, it's nice," I said half-heartedly, my jolly mood destroyed by Logan.

"Okay, your companion is sitting on the stairs," she informed me as if reading my mind. "He refused to sit here. I hope things are okay between you two."

"Oh yeah, of course, of course. Just some trivial issues. Doesn't matter." I waved my hand dismissively. "I'll go now. My parents will let you know."

She nodded. "Sure, take care love."

"Yeah." I cracked a smile and hurriedly left. Logan as mentioned by Amy was sitting on the lower steps, his head in his hands. I tapped his shoulder and sat beside him. "You okay?"

He didn't reply, only looked up.

"Hey, I won't be under their care until autumn. This is something I have to do and you'll understand that soon. You can't freak out like this. You can't be my friend if you don't accept this," I said in a shaky voice, a lump lodged in my throat.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and looked right into my eyes. "I'm not freaking out, I'm not."

"I shouldn't have allowed you to come. It was a big mistake---"

"No stop, I do understand," he intervened irritatedly. After a few seconds, he pushed his hair back and sighed. "I'm sorry, it was-it was just difficult. I won't act like this again. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for pretending like everything was alright and not talking about this before." We both sat there, observing the vehicles that passed on the road. "It's none of our fault, let's start over, okay?"