Barely Holding On

(8) Late Night Talks

I left Johnnys house at around 11 P.M, not wanting to get home too late just in case my father was there. I felt lighter now that I not only have 4 new friends, but that Dylan was one of them. I was still confused as to why Rebecca would spread lies about me, especially to Dylan. Like I stated to him, I have only talked to her a couple times in classes we had to share so I'm not sure what I did for her to spread a lie about me. Although I would love to know why she did this, I was not about to start a fire that would escalate into something deadly.

Arriving to an empty home, I rush up to my room and lock the door behind me, changing into a big t-shirt for bed. As I lay down and look towards the ceiling I can't help but smile, a real genuine smile thinking about how much fun tonight was. After Dylan and I officially "met" for the first time we all ordered a pizza and just sat and talked. It was nice hearing the origins behind the ridiculous rumors, all of which were blown way out of proportion. They were just really cool guys and I am happy I never judged them, because who knows how they would have reacted to that. 

They already dislike every person who automatically assume shit about them, and not only does it make them mad, but it makes them sad, according to Johnny. After he revealed that little information though Kai, Matthieu and Dylan were pissed at him for actually admitting that but I eased their minds saying I didn't blame them and I would never tell anyone, not even my two best friends. Just thinking back at their revelation made my smile drop a bit, and made me come to the conclusion that I would always be there for them to keep smirks and smiles on their faces. With this thought in mind, I fell into a blissful sleep.

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I suddenly wake up to a bang from somewhere in my house and I automatically know that my father was finally home, most likely drunk off his ass. I turn quietly towards my alarm clock and see that it is 1:25 A.M. My body suddenly goes stiff, trying not to make any unnecessary noise to attract attention to myself. Unfortunately, that doesn't matter seeing as my dad has a plan of his own boiling in his mind.

"Yoo hoo, Evelyn, where's my bitch of a daughter at?"

I remain still and hope to God that he doesn't try to come into my room. Although I locked my door, there have been various times when he broke my door down and yelled at me all night, telling me how worthless I am. Suddenly, I hear him stomping up the stairs and then see his shadow underneath my door moments later. Fuck.

"You know Evelyn, I'm not stupid. You're in there laughing in my face and I will not have it!"

As soon as he finishes his sentence, he bangs on my door causing me to jump and begin shaking. I immediately jump out of my bed and get dressed as quickly as humanly possible into a black hoodie and grey sweat pants. I grab my back pack, not even bothering with my hair and head right towards the window. My father is still banging on my door, harder with each knock, and I know if I don't leave soon he will break down my door and I would never leave tonight. I open my window and quietly exit, holding onto a tree branch in order to help me climb down. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I start to run towards Loretta's Diner.

Upon arriving, I take a seat in the back booth and start to take out my sketchpad and pencils. One thing that always helps to calm me down is drawing. It is a way for me to express my emotions while also calm my anxiety, focusing on drawing, and drawing only. I continue with my almost completed drawing, which is a great representation of how I currently feel in my life right now. Living with my father feels as though I am trapped and will never be able to escape, no matter how hard I try.