Barely Holding On

(5) The Apology

I was seeing red. After the night I had, I was not in the mood to deal with Dylan and his goonies. In the beginning, my goal was to figure out why Dylan hated me so much, but my plan seemed to backfire. I was so distracted with my father and my lack of sleep that I didn't put my plan back in action. The attention Dylan and his friends were giving me was unbearable. I seem to have crossed a line with them and that seems to have consequences. 

When I got to school this morning I saw Dylan, Kai, Johnathan and Matthieu across the hall near my locker staring at me as I walked towards the area with suspicious smirks on their faces. At first, I didn't think anything of it and just continued towards my locker where Alicia and Thomas were waiting for me. I smiled as convincingly as I could, which seemed to persuade them into believing that I was okay. As I was putting the combination in my lock, Alicia and Thomas were having a heated debate about the importance of cleaning your feet in the shower. A small smile started to form on my face until I opened my locker, and my smile turned into a scowl.

Upon opening my locker, I felt a cold liquid squirt on my face and Alicia and Thomas immediately stopped their argument and gasped in shock. I could hear laughter all around me, hearing the most laughter coming from the four asshats in the corner. I wipe my hands across my eyes and look in the mirror that was located inside my locker. All over my face, part of my hair and neck, was blue paint. I knew this would be a bitch to clean up and would most likely dye my skin. I could hear Alicia and Thomas asking me if I was alright and who would dare do this, but I ignored them and continued staring at myself in the mirror. I could feel my anger increase every second and I could feel it start to take over my body. The lack of sleep mixed with the drama between my father and I has put me on edge. Anything could have set me off, and unfortunately for the four goons laughing at my misery, this was it.

Slamming my locker shut, I turned around and started walking towards the culprits of this hate filled prank. I was walking with tunnel vision and I was on a mission with a purpose. I heard two sets of footsteps behind me but that only made me increase my speed. The laughter of students around me started to fade and then there was only four boys laughing in this deadly silent hallway. Once I reached them they all stopped their laughter slowly but kept smirks on their faces.

"Aww why so blue priss?"

The other boys laughed at Dylan's remark. I could feel my eye twitch and I stepped even closer to the four boys, giving them the deadliest glare I could muster under the paint. I took my time to stare at each one of them in the eyes before settling on Dylan's eyes, seeming to be the mastermind behind this little prank.

"You think this is funny? Well congratulations, you succeeded on your childish prank that was funny for about two seconds. You all think you are so high and mighty, but the truth is, you are all just as insecure and fucked up as the rest of us. I thought that maybe all those rumors and gossip about every one of you was false or even blown out of proportion, but I don't know anymore. Maybe I'm just stupid and naïve."

I stepped closer to Dylan until we were centimeters from being nose to nose, looking up to stare him in the eyes. My tone changed from angry to sad as I continued. I kept my voice low enough so only the four boys in front of me could hear.

"All I wanted from you Dylan is to know why you hate me so much. What do I get? Name calling, threats, and blue paint to my face. Dylan, I am so sorry for whatever I did to make you hate me so much. I am sorry to all of you for what I said, Kai I am sorry for what I said to you especially. But Kai, if you ever threaten me again, I will castrate you."

I finish with a deep breath and step back slightly. All four boys had a blank expression on their faces like always, but that didn't bother me. I said what I had to say and hopefully they would leave me alone. I didn't care about being vulnerable in that one moment, I just wanted for them to stop. To have school as an escape from the hell I call home. I turned my back to them, walking right past my shocked friends and start to heading towards the girl's bathroom, one that was secluded from many classrooms. Let's see if I can get all this blue paint off me, shall we?