No One is Happy with This (Undertale)

84 ~ The Nuances of the Stuff

It takes a few days, but eventually, you deem it safe to go near the lab- or, at least, as safe as it normally is. So, one Saturday morning, you decide to head over and say hi to Gaster and whoever else might be there, and ask if Gaster managed to figure out what happened.

You come to the lab just as Gaster kicks open the main doors, followed closely behind by Sans, Papyrus, and Alphys. When you ask where he's going, he doesn't respond. In fact, he hardly seems to notice you- he's got that purposeful look in his eyes, and he's striding along at a speed that you- and, evidently, Alphys- are having a hard time keeping up with.

Then Gaster stops in the True Lab parking lot, standing at the edge of the sidewalk. For a moment, he just stands there. Then he turns around, looking at the group of you, with an expression somewhere between befuddlement and dismay. You all wait for him to explain.

"... I don't have a car," he says with a hint of disbelief in his voice, almost like he forgot.

For a moment, everyone is silent. That was far from what you were expecting, though you suppose you should've learned by now to expect unexpected things from Gaster.

After another second or two, Papyrus speaks up. "We can take my car!"

The Royal Scientist's expression shifts into something more amused. "Only if I can drive."

Now Papyrus looks dismayed, and maybe a little horrified, too. "Last time you drove, you almost crashed! Eight times! In a twenty minute drive!"

"But I didn't crash, so-"

"You were going fifty two miles per hour over the speed limit!"

You desperately try, and fail, to stifle the sudden burst of snickering that overcomes you, and you hear Alphys murmur "oh my Annoying Dog, Doctor."

Gaster just shrugs, amused. "But I still didn't crash! In fact, I think I'm rather good at not doing that."

"what," Sans interjects, chuckling, "good at not not crashing? because that's a double negative.which means you're good at crashing."

Now Gaster crosses his arms over his chest, assuming a contemptuous pose, nose upturned. "I can crash a car if I want to. But I'm also good at not crashing cars when I don't want to."

You decide now is a good time for you to speak up. "Gaster, do you even have a driver's license?"

"Pfffft," he's grinning again, and he makes a dismissive gesture. "Frisk, people who don't exist don't need driver's licenses to drive."

"But I thought we've already established that you only mostly don't exist, but do still exist a tiny bit."

He gestures dismissively again. "Details, details. No need to get into the nuances of the stuff, Frisk. It's hardly runic science."

Papyrus is getting that look on his face you've seen so often when Sans cracks a pun. "Because our lives aren't worth getting into the nuances of the stuff?!"

Gaster grins at him. "Of course they are! Which is why I didn't crash the car last time I drove."

Papyrus throws his hands in the air with a frustrated "NYEH!"

You look up at Gaster and frown. "Can't you just... teleport us to... wherever it is we're going?"

"Well, I mean, I could..."

"But?"

"But trying to do that with five people, we run the risk of me accidentally dropping someone literally in the middle of nowhere, where they'd be erased from existence."