Where Are You Now?

Letting Go

Song :

Birdy - Wings

Chapter 22

Michelle's P.O.V

"You can't be here. What if she sees you?" Someone's voice wakes me. "She won't. I promise. Trust me; I just need to see her." He says knowing it's him and my heart starts beating rapidly.

"Josh." I call his name sitting and he turns to face me. "Hey." He says sitting on bed in front of me. "Are you... are you okay?" My hands start shivering once I see his bruised face and he says nothing.

His eyes are bloodshot and he has a scar on his lip and on his left cheek.

I touch the scar on his cheek with my shivering hand while he's watching me. And silence has never felt so comforting.

But only after a few seconds he takes my hand and moves it away from his scars. "What did they do to you?" I ask staring at him. "What did they do to you?" He says looking at my arm holding it. "It's numb." I tell him looking at his bright eyes and then at my arm. "I'm sorry." He says still looking at it. "Hey, don't." I say leaning closer to him, he lefts his head up slowly and our lips meet.

I press mine against his and our lips move together. I close my eyes and I could feel his breath on me making me so fragile and weak. I put my left arm on his chest to feel his heart beating faster and faster. And I would do anything to freeze this moment; the moment when the world around you disappears except you and him.

I pull away from him and open my eyes to meet his blue eyes that are glowing in the dark. The dark which is my life that is lighten up by him coming here tonight.

"I just want to keep you safe." He says looking at me. "I know." I say looking away from his eyes knowing the words he is going to say.

"I don't deserve you." He slowly says.

"Josh... please don't." I beg looking at him. "I have to... You have no idea how it feels like to stay up all night worried if something could happen to you. Or to pretend to be someone I'm not around you. I saw how much you hated me in the hospital. I will keep on hurting you. I won't bring you anything but pain. I can't and I refuse to break you. It's already tearing me apart seeing you like this because of me; because I had to be selfish. It fucking kills me to see your hand like this full of stitches just because of me." He says and each and every word that comes out of his mouth tears me apart knowing that he will never be mine and I could never save him or take away his pain.

"Okay." All that I could say without looking at him and he lets go a deep breath looking away from me. "Josh?" I call his name before he leaves. "Yeah... ?" He says turning to face me. "May you lay beside me as I fall asleep? Jus ... Just one more moment with you." I ask him. "Yeah, okay." He smiles weakly and lays next to me.

I lay my head on his chest and he puts his arm around me; hearing his heartbeat one last time.

Warm tears start falling down once he puts his arm around me pulling me closer knowing it's the last moment with him. "Josh..." I call his name after I stop crying. "Yeah...?" "I want you to know that I love you and I would do anything to take your pain away. Josh, you don't know it yet but you're a hero. You're so strong and so good." I tell him and his arm around me gets tighter.

"I love you more; therefore, I'm letting you go." He says and these cruel words echo till the end of the night; leaving me broken, cold and fragile without him.

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