BLACK WIDOW

apostasy

apostasy
(n.)
a total desertion from one's religion, principals, party, or cause

•••

"I've been low before. I remember a time where I didn't see any good of my life continuing. But some people are just lucky to live long enough to find their true place. I suppose I was just too far away from the light to see it."

•••

Natalia wasn't sure exactly how clear her head was. She did know however that whatever she though she knew was a lie. She felt lost. She felt betrayed. She felt betrayed by Hydra. By Russia. By Madame B. But she also felt supported by James and weirdly, Hank Pym. But this was the part of her mind that she couldn't trust. Everything she had ever experienced, along with the memories that she presumed had been planted all felt like they had given to her.

Now everything felt like a lie. Like it was a book and her memories were the experiences of a character. None of it felt truly like it was hers to have. Like it was all someone else's life. But then there was the reminder that none of this could have been made up. It was far too outlandish. And even if not, how would have Hank Pym been apart of it?

Natalia's mind was spinning wildly as she drove to the nearest supermarket. It was a Whole Foods. She had taken off her steath suit that, for once, didn't have any blood on it. Natalia didn't quite know how to feel about that. Sure, Hank Pym didn't need to die by the hands of Russia, but wasn't he just as dangerous as Natalia? Didn't they both need to be removed. How could she trust him to do what's right when he works for S. H. I. E. L. D.

The thoughts raced through her mind like a madness. She couldn't concentrate. Her entire head was somewhere else. She threw brown, black, and blonde boxes of hair dye in the basket she carried in the crook of her elbow. She grabbed a backpack, a bunch of non-perishable foods, some extra clothes, and some hygiene products.

The money she was going to use to pay for all the was a wad of cash she stole from Hank Pym. But she was going to need more. She headed to the back and tripped the wire that controlled the security cams, then headed up to buy her stuff.

"Can I get a pack of red 100's?" asked Natalia to the cashier. She smirked when the cashier began to struggled against the jammed doors. She had unknowingly fallen into yet another of the Black Widow's webs. And quicker than you could say cashier, Natalia hopped up on the counter and broke into the cash register and took all of it, closed it and stood back up, waiting like any other customer would to buy their items.

And just in time, the cashier turned around and handed Natalia the pack of cigarettes and began to ring up all her things.

"49.76," she informed Natalia. Natalia hand over the amount and watch with a smirk as she put it hair the cash register. The cashier frowned at the look of no cash. "Jason mush have emptied it for the day," she told herself with a shrugs.

Natalia took her bags and walked out the door, throwing the pack of cigarettes in the trash can on the way out. To her, they've always stunk. She got in the car and drove to a rest station where she colored her hair black, cut bangs, and put it in a ponytail.

She caught herself lost in the image of her own face staring back at her in the mirror. She couldn't even believe how far she had gotten. How strange her was. She had lived five decades yet she looked the soft age of 23. She was created to kill. From the first day of her life, it had already been decided that this was how she was to live. And now everything she knew was out of her reach. That or impossible to find.