BLACK WIDOW

kairos

kairos
(n.)
the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting tightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words or movement

•••

"I had few comforts in the Red Room. The comforts I did have were restricted and were to be kept secret. My favorite was James. And I still feel the way I did then. It breaks my heart to know his demons still have him."

•••

<There seems to be no problem with him. Stark's an optimist,> Natalia whispered to James. They were sitting on a bench a few strides away from where the two men were working.

<But what about Carter. She seems so hostile. I don't believe she'll kill, but there still seems to be a possibility there.>

They looked across the room at her where she was quietly reading to herself.

Natalia shook her head. <I don't think it is Anton she is uneasy around. I am pretty sure it is us.>

Then, visibly she could see him understand. <She thinks we are here to kill Stark.>

<Yes,> Natalia confirmed.

<Well, let's step out for a while. There are a couple of our men circling the building and a few in this very room.>

Natalia looked at him scoldingly. "James," she said warningly. "We do not need to leave Anton."

He smiled standing up and talking her . "Sure we can. There is no danger. It's Christmas. Let's go look around the beautiful city of London."

"Christmas? The holiday?" Natalia asked with a smile. Sometimes he provided her with the simplest of amusement. "Alright."

And together they walked the lighted streets of London. Everything was so beautiful. The Christmas lights shone. Mangers made of lights set up. Trees covered in ornaments an garland. Everything smelled of pie and peppermints. Children laughed and played in the streets. Cars bustled about— men getting home to their families. Women pushed strollers and carrying bags of gifts they had bought.

The scenery and James's company made this the happiest moment of Natalia's life.

"So, Christmas. I understand it is one of the most celebrated holidays, but... I don't even know what it celebrates," Natalia revealed as she gazed upon all the beautiful sights.

"The birth of Jesus Christ," he revealed, looking sadly through a window into a shop.

"That is the God that Christians worship?"

He shook his head. "No. Christ is the son of the one true God. The man who has saved us from all our sins. So that when we die—if we truly let Him into our hearts—can live in eternal glory above."

"You believe?"

He gave a simple nod. "I do," he said proudly. "It is the one of the few things I can find comfort in. One of the only things this life hasn't stripped me of. The one thing I can count on," he said, tears brimming his eyes. "All I have to do is somehow get through this life, so I can make it home to Heaven."

Natalia couldn't help but think about the the whole idea of Christ. If James believed it, there had to be truth. But as much as she has sinned, was it possible to reserve a spot in the promised land?

"Do you think I could do it. Do you think, somehow, I could find myself there? After all that I have sinned?" she asked him.

"Every soul can be saved. And after all your time with the Academy, they've convinced you that your soul is dark. But I can see. I can see how pure. You're being used. Just as I am, you are being used. We have no say as to what happens to our bodies. What we do. We'll never escape. The best thing we could ever do is wait to die. And ask for forgiveness every spare minute we have."