Never Met a Girl Like Her | ✔️

(35)

"But anyway. I was scared and I was also. . . processing. I just needed to let it sink in. It hasn't really. But I've come to terms with it. More than I was two days ago."

He opened his mouth like he was going to ask me something else. But instead, he looked behind me at his bed and then without warning, he snatched my hand and pulled me down onto his mattress, snuggling us under the covers. He put his arm under my head and I curled into his chest.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"Just getting comfortable. So we can talk. You comfortable?"

"Yes." I felt more relaxed than I had in the last forty eight hours. Everything about him was soothing. His smell. His hold. His firm but soft chest.

"So," he kissed the top of my head. "You've come to terms with it. What does that mean?"

My heart sped up. I was in my safe place. With my safe person. But I was still nervous. "I think I want to keep it."

I waited for his reaction. For him to become rigid beneath me. Or his heart to pick up in panic. But he didn't.

"But. . . what do you want?"

"I want what you want, Leonie."

"That's not how this works," I argued. "This isn't a 'oh what do you want to eat babe' 'just whatever you're having' argument. I need to know what you want. Tell me what you think I should do."

"I can't do that, baby. I don't have the right to do that."

I sighed. "This would be so much easier if you weren't so sweet. You must feel something. You're not seriously finding out that you're going to be a father and just feeling. . . indifferent."

"I do feel something. But I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do."

"Fine. Let's start with what you feel. What is it?"

He held me tighter and pressed another kiss on my head. "Okay. Well I feel. . . nervous. I'm still in med school. You're in high school. We're both young. I don't have a lot of finances. But on the other hand, I've imagined all of this with you. Pictured a life together. I know that if you want to keep our baby, then I'm not dipping out. I'm there. And I'll love him or her because I love you."

I started to cry again. You know, like a mess.

There was that word again. The L word. The one that I felt but didn't want to say. Not right now. Now wasn't the right time. "I know it seems crazy," I sobbed and was glad that he couldn't see my ugly crying face. "But I do want to keep it. I just. . . do."

His hand slid down from my shoulder and rested on my waist. "We can do this. I can get a job an—"

"Stop," I declared with a flat tone. "First things first. This is not the archaic ages. You don't have to take the role of financial provider just because you're a man. I've actually thought about this and you're going to keep going to school. I have good savings. I've been saving half of my allowance since mom started working. Plus she contributes to it each birthday. I'm good. I'm in the position to take care of us. So I will. You can move in with me."

"Alright," he said slowly. "I can deal with continuing school. Although I really feel like I should get a job."

"If I'm capable of providing, that's what I'm doing. You have to finish school. If you could manage a job and studying and helping with Sarah, you'd be doing that right now. Just keep receiving student allowance and that'll be fine."