Testing the Waters of the World

Chapter 2

I got home at around ten or so, I don't really know, I didn't pay all that much attention. It was dark though, I know that much.

After we left the docks, Talen and I went to the sandwich shop where we both got turkey and Swiss on rye. We ate it on the way home. Talen was one of those guys that kick pebbles when they walk. It was a cute thing when guys did it, or at least I thought so. I told him that countless times, too. Every guy should keep a pebble in their pocket for something to kick when they started walking.

Anyway, I got home and it was dark inside the front room and I knew that Maddie would be asleep and Tarek would be playing video games in his room with his volume off so he wouldn't wake Maddie up and that my mom would be out on the porch drinking a glass of red wine. It happened like this everyday of summer. Every day.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed myself a bottle of water. When I turned around I brought my hand up to my chest in shock. My mother, drinking a glass of red wine, was sat at the kitchen table. She was looking down at the table but looked up at me when I gasped.

"Mom?" I asked.

"Sit down, Leona."

I sat down in the chair across from hers and looked at the table. It was a small, circular wooden table that had a nice light and floral table cloth. The flowers were lavender and some sort of light pink flower but I had no actual idea of flowers so I couldn't name it.

"Leona," my mother's voice broke me from my gaze and I looked up at her. "Leona, I think you should go to college next week."

Go to college next week, I thought. But I wasn't set to move out until next month. What on earth was she talking about? Why would I go early? That would just be more money.

"Why?" I asked.

"Leona." God, she says my name like, a million times in one conversation. "I think it would be best if you left soon."

I couldn't stop it like I wanted to, a tear fell from my eye. Another thing I didn't like about myself, I cried way to easily. It could be absolutely nothing and I would cry. In fact, I cried of boredom once. I quickly wiped the tear away but all of a sudden I was full blown crying and I could do nothing to stop it.

"Leona," God, there she goes again, "stop crying, Goddamn it. Calm down."

She didn't speak in a comforting way, the way you would expect. No, she said it like she had enough of my crap.

"Why?" I blubbered. "It's because of the vase, isn't it? Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? It was a fully fledged accident. I didn't mean for it to happen."

She just looked at me for a minute, her eyes cold and calculating. Like the mother I always knew.

"Leona, I want your bags all packed before you can even think of hanging out with Talen again. Do you hear me?"

I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick and scream and yell and cry and I wanted to throw a tantrum but instead, I took what little dignity I had left and said, "okay," in a very curt manor.

I walked calmly upstairs but as soon as I got to my room I was crying and bunching up my sheets in anger. That was something I did, bunched up my sheets and made fists around the fabric and squeezed them so hard. It got a lot of my anger out and since I couldn't punch if my life depended on it, it would have to do.

I cried and cried that night like the little baby I was before falling asleep.

It hurt. It hurt to know that, even in my own home, I was never wanted.